Grr

Choreography takes a darn long time, at least when you're as new at it as I am. I still have the ending to do. I need to locate my pit, and get Joseph (Matthew) into it. And I have no idea if this dance I've made is too complicated, too simple, dull to watch, impossible to do... I may need more arm motions. But we'll see how it looks. It'll probably need tweaking.

On the brighter side, dinner for Sharona went really well. Shlomiya and I went over to her apartment at 10ish on Friday, got the cooking done, did some last minute errands and went to shul. The combination of people went well, which had been giving me considerable tsuris (aka worry) before, as not everyone knew each other. But it went well, there were minor mistakes (the kugel was cold, we forgot to get bowls so we used old cottage cheese containers, we didn't have a corkscrew), but nothing earth-shattering. I went to Orin's afterwards, but was in the wrong mood for that sort of gathering, so while I stayed, I don't think I contributed much, and spent a while in the hall having my biweekly cry. Go figure.

Today- Shabbat was snowy and snowier. There was a discussion during/after lunch with a JTS rabbinical student about the Conservative movement. It was a bit difficult at times, because we did sort of fdace up to the fact that it seems hypocritical at times, and stuff like that. At one point someone, in trying ot summarize a general position, made a bad slip in wording and referred to Reform as "the lowest", something which really bothers me. Since I got a good bit of flack for being reform when I was younger, and while I've chosen a different sort of Judaism, I don't think it's the wrong way to be- I was pretty hurt. I put a Lot of energy into my parents' shul at home. It's a valuable institution. Reform is a non-halakhic movement, Conservative is supposed to be a halakhic movement. Therefore if Reform folks don't keep Shabbat traditionally- that's in the direction-book. All the Conservative folks who observe almost nothing: it seems to me that that's far more hypocritical. I know no one can fully escape beign hypocritical. Heck, I know I am at times. But condoning it the way some people did? I don't understand that. Maybe I'm holding up a much stronger double standard than I should be. I just feel like if someone subscribes to a particular world view, they should make some effort to live by it. I'm a student- I try to live thoughtfully and to learn (not that that doesn't go for everyone). One choreographer I know picked up a dance move from watching a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. That's living what your ideal is. I know, it's better for people to be a little involved than not at all. But not to show them what other options are available and encouraged? I don't know. It just seemed odd to me that people look down on reformniks, as steve would say, but think better of utterly nonobservant conservative types. (Somehow, conservativeniks just has way too many syllables.) I decidedly felt a bit out of place there.

On the brighter side, they had extra food (not from Sherman) at Seudat Shlishit in honor of Phil and my completed terms as gabbay and gabbay-in-training respectively. A cute signal honor, and a fine excuse for some more exciting cuisine than the usual rolls, egg salad, etc. (More exciting meaning cooking and babka.)

Tonight I talked a bit, studied a bit, and did a bunch of choreography. ANd I'm still waiting to find out if I'll still have rehearsal tomorrow or not

Grr

Choreography takes a darn long time, at least when you're as new at it as I am. I still have the ending to do. I need to locate my pit, and get Joseph (Matthew) into it. And I have no idea if this dance I've made is too complicated, too simple, dull to watch, impossible to do... I may need more arm motions. But we'll see how it looks. It'll probably need tweaking.

On the brighter side, dinner for Sharona went really well. Shlomiya and I went over to her apartment at 10ish on Friday, got the cooking done, did some last minute errands and went to shul. The combination of people went well, which had been giving me considerable tsuris (aka worry) before, as not everyone knew each other. But it went well, there were minor mistakes (the kugel was cold, we forgot to get bowls so we used old cottage cheese containers, we didn't have a corkscrew), but nothing earth-shattering. I went to Orin's afterwards, but was in the wrong mood for that sort of gathering, so while I stayed, I don't think I contributed much, and spent a while in the hall having my biweekly cry. Go figure.

Today- Shabbat was snowy and snowier. There was a discussion during/after lunch with a JTS rabbinical student about the Conservative movement. It was a bit difficult at times, because we did sort of fdace up to the fact that it seems hypocritical at times, and stuff like that. At one point someone, in trying ot summarize a general position, made a bad slip in wording and referred to Reform as "the lowest", something which really bothers me. Since I got a good bit of flack for being reform when I was younger, and while I've chosen a different sort of Judaism, I don't think it's the wrong way to be- I was pretty hurt. I put a Lot of energy into my parents' shul at home. It's a valuable institution. Reform is a non-halakhic movement, Conservative is supposed to be a halakhic movement. Therefore if Reform folks don't keep Shabbat traditionally- that's in the direction-book. All the Conservative folks who observe almost nothing: it seems to me that that's far more hypocritical. I know no one can fully escape beign hypocritical. Heck, I know I am at times. But condoning it the way some people did? I don't understand that. Maybe I'm holding up a much stronger double standard than I should be. I just feel like if someone subscribes to a particular world view, they should make some effort to live by it. I'm a student- I try to live thoughtfully and to learn (not that that doesn't go for everyone). One choreographer I know picked up a dance move from watching a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. That's living what your ideal is. I know, it's better for people to be a little involved than not at all. But not to show them what other options are available and encouraged? I don't know. It just seemed odd to me that people look down on reformniks, as steve would say, but think better of utterly nonobservant conservative types. (Somehow, conservativeniks just has way too many syllables.) I decidedly felt a bit out of place there.

On the brighter side, they had extra food (not from Sherman) at Seudat Shlishit in honor of Phil and my completed terms as gabbay and gabbay-in-training respectively. A cute signal honor, and a fine excuse for some more exciting cuisine than the usual rolls, egg salad, etc. (More exciting meaning cooking and babka.)

Tonight I talked a bit, studied a bit, and did a bunch of choreography. ANd I'm still waiting to find out if I'll still have rehearsal tomorrow or not