The post-New Years post, among other things

So last night the family, Miriam and I headed to New Jersey for the New Years Eve marathon. Miriam joined us somewhat last minute, and I was a bit curious, as she hadn't danced before, but she hung in like, as my mother would say, a trooper. Enouhg to earn her a number of compliments for nerve from folks I was talking to. It was over all a rather mixed, but overall fun experience. The programming was eclectic and followed no particular flow, and had the longest couples sets known to man. Luckily, I did well when it came to partners. On the less fortunate (but funny, I guess) side, Em tricked me into having some of the spiked punch. (THere was both spiked and unspiked punch.) I was rather annoyed with her- Mom says it's in an attempt to get me to "loosen up", but I didn't appreciate it. But as mostly I didn't see that much of her in the course of the evening, it wasn't a huge issue. Mostly I stayed in my own circle and she stayed in hers: usually they overlap more, but there were few other people our age around, and we prefer different bunches of the adults. On the less than fortunate and not funny side: I had a mix-up with someone about a couples set, someone else asked me to dance, and was more insistent about it, and well- it left the other guy a bit hurt and he told me later that the one who was insistent was "going to monopolize" me for the rest of the night. It was both flattering in a sad sort of way, and kind of painful- I don't like being an item of contention. And I really don't like causing it. It's wrong: it hurts other people, and it hurts me. The incident made me want to reinstate the dance card.

The marathon did suggest that I need to amplify my sleaze-meter. Mom was mentioning that one of the folks I danced with was popularly considered mildly sleazy- or perhaps simply with that tendency, and he seemed perfectly nice to me. On the other hand, maybe that's a virtue at times, as people certainly thought of one of my good friends from last year as a bit sketchy, and I had no issue with him, and he was/is a perfectly nice, sweet guy. Ditto, apparently a friend of mine from high school, of blessed memory, who my sister was restraining from telling me that she thought was a pot head. And that was not a friendship I'd have wanted to do without- Dave was one of the most gentle, kind people I've known. On the other hand- it did leave me hanging out with a few rather less than savory characters at time, without realizing it.

I've been being funky (i.e. moody) a bit lately. People are well, confusing, and being home has led me to reevaluate some of my thoughts about who really knows me as well as I thought they did. It's going to confuse me some, on returning to school, presumably, although not all the people in question are at school. It's definitely reminded me that a great deal of time is required to get to know someone for real- and more for some people than others. I'd had some thoughts about trust and friendship that the reminder of seeing people I've been close to for a long time calls somewhat into question. It's a matter of patience, I suppose, both on their part and my own, more than anything else.

The post-New Years post, among other things

So last night the family, Miriam and I headed to New Jersey for the New Years Eve marathon. Miriam joined us somewhat last minute, and I was a bit curious, as she hadn't danced before, but she hung in like, as my mother would say, a trooper. Enouhg to earn her a number of compliments for nerve from folks I was talking to. It was over all a rather mixed, but overall fun experience. The programming was eclectic and followed no particular flow, and had the longest couples sets known to man. Luckily, I did well when it came to partners. On the less fortunate (but funny, I guess) side, Em tricked me into having some of the spiked punch. (THere was both spiked and unspiked punch.) I was rather annoyed with her- Mom says it's in an attempt to get me to "loosen up", but I didn't appreciate it. But as mostly I didn't see that much of her in the course of the evening, it wasn't a huge issue. Mostly I stayed in my own circle and she stayed in hers: usually they overlap more, but there were few other people our age around, and we prefer different bunches of the adults. On the less than fortunate and not funny side: I had a mix-up with someone about a couples set, someone else asked me to dance, and was more insistent about it, and well- it left the other guy a bit hurt and he told me later that the one who was insistent was "going to monopolize" me for the rest of the night. It was both flattering in a sad sort of way, and kind of painful- I don't like being an item of contention. And I really don't like causing it. It's wrong: it hurts other people, and it hurts me. The incident made me want to reinstate the dance card.

The marathon did suggest that I need to amplify my sleaze-meter. Mom was mentioning that one of the folks I danced with was popularly considered mildly sleazy- or perhaps simply with that tendency, and he seemed perfectly nice to me. On the other hand, maybe that's a virtue at times, as people certainly thought of one of my good friends from last year as a bit sketchy, and I had no issue with him, and he was/is a perfectly nice, sweet guy. Ditto, apparently a friend of mine from high school, of blessed memory, who my sister was restraining from telling me that she thought was a pot head. And that was not a friendship I'd have wanted to do without- Dave was one of the most gentle, kind people I've known. On the other hand- it did leave me hanging out with a few rather less than savory characters at time, without realizing it.

I've been being funky (i.e. moody) a bit lately. People are well, confusing, and being home has led me to reevaluate some of my thoughts about who really knows me as well as I thought they did. It's going to confuse me some, on returning to school, presumably, although not all the people in question are at school. It's definitely reminded me that a great deal of time is required to get to know someone for real- and more for some people than others. I'd had some thoughts about trust and friendship that the reminder of seeing people I've been close to for a long time calls somewhat into question. It's a matter of patience, I suppose, both on their part and my own, more than anything else.