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As the title says- sometimes I just don't know what to write about. With the exception of various conversations with the nearer and dearer, life over the last few days has been pretty prosaic. On the other hand, in Halakha "Lema'ase" (no way that I try to transliterate that today seems to look even half-way reasonable) today we were supposed to be talking about Niddah- the first of two weeks we're doing on the subject. Instead, we spent much of the time talking about homosexuality, again. Not that I object to the topic, and given my teacher's generally unique approach, it was certainly interesting- although he at one point got so embarrassed, when nothing else had embarrassed him at all, that I got majorly embarrassed as well. It was in relation to something that was apparently fairly new information to him (although I'm not sure why) and he lost all his professional decorum, which was rather distressing for me as a student. Other than that, there was no great hiddush in what he was saying- but he put off almost all discussion of niddah, besides an Extremely basic discussion of the background in Tanakh and Talmud for next week, when we were supposed to have spent this week on the issue of the 7 clean days, and had all next week for a discussion of harkhakot. Honestly, if he knew that he wanted to spend time talking about homosexuality (and it's pretty clear that he did), he should have budgeted it into the schedule, even if it isn't formally part of Yoreh De'ah, which is the topic of the class (but then we don't Get a dedicated semester on Even haEzer, boo, hiss.)
On the other hand, we'll have a different teacher next semester, whom I am Quite sure will have a different approach and general attitude, and he came to talk to us briefly about what we had and hadn't already learned, and what we'd appreciate doing in more depth. So I'm hopeful that next semester will be a significantly different experience.
Next semester in Talmud may also be a significantly different experience- I know that at least one of my two chevrutas is planning to leave the class, as is at least one of our other classmates, who implied that the two of them were not alone in that plan. (By that measure, the class one level down, which already has absorbed I think 4 folks who were supposed to be in my class, if not more, is going to get awfully large...) So next semester should be an adventure by all means.
In other future-related news, at least one of my classmates is planning to take next semester off, because he's unhappy at Machon Schechter, another classmate is leaving JTS next year for RRC, another may be leaving with uncertain plans involving making Aliyah, and 2 more are thinking of spending a second year in Israel. So just as I'm getting to know and like folks, many of them won't be around after this year anyways... Go figure.
It does make me feel rather awkward about JTS, etc. I mean, I'm satisfied enough with it- I have enough good classes that I feel like I'm learning something, I'm going to come out with the degree and title that are going to be what I need for a lot of different things that I want to do with my life, and I'm getting some reasonable training in that direction. And yet many people whom I care for and whose opinions I generally value are constantly dissatisfied with JTS and with the education that they are offered there. Is it a spiritually transformative experience? No. Is it going to teach me pure Torah on the level that I could get at a really intensive yeshiva-style program? No. But if what I need it for is a graduate school, the it does the job, and I am no longer hoping for it to be anything else. I'm not sure if I should hope for it to be something else or not- it would be lovely if it were, but I don't think that it can do that without changing the culture so much as to be unreasonable, and when it tries, it mostly just gets sickening, whereas it makes a perfectly reasonable graduate/professional school.
No institution can do everything, and asking one institution to be spiritually transforming for each and every one of its students, to teach Torah on an intensive level equal to one where the students are doing nothing other than learning pure Torah lishma, and to provide significant professional training for rabbis in a variety of contexts is unfair and unreasonable. And yet, if I express satisfaction with it, even provisionally, I feel like I need to be on some sort of defensive, and/or like I'm giving in and settling for something that isn't as good as what other people are leaving to go find elsewhere- except that in each case, they're giving up some of those list of things that I'm not willing to give up. I just need to accept that what's right for them and what's right for me aren't always the same, and not to take their needing something different as a judgment on what I'm doing- but that's easier said than done.
On the other hand, we'll have a different teacher next semester, whom I am Quite sure will have a different approach and general attitude, and he came to talk to us briefly about what we had and hadn't already learned, and what we'd appreciate doing in more depth. So I'm hopeful that next semester will be a significantly different experience.
Next semester in Talmud may also be a significantly different experience- I know that at least one of my two chevrutas is planning to leave the class, as is at least one of our other classmates, who implied that the two of them were not alone in that plan. (By that measure, the class one level down, which already has absorbed I think 4 folks who were supposed to be in my class, if not more, is going to get awfully large...) So next semester should be an adventure by all means.
In other future-related news, at least one of my classmates is planning to take next semester off, because he's unhappy at Machon Schechter, another classmate is leaving JTS next year for RRC, another may be leaving with uncertain plans involving making Aliyah, and 2 more are thinking of spending a second year in Israel. So just as I'm getting to know and like folks, many of them won't be around after this year anyways... Go figure.
It does make me feel rather awkward about JTS, etc. I mean, I'm satisfied enough with it- I have enough good classes that I feel like I'm learning something, I'm going to come out with the degree and title that are going to be what I need for a lot of different things that I want to do with my life, and I'm getting some reasonable training in that direction. And yet many people whom I care for and whose opinions I generally value are constantly dissatisfied with JTS and with the education that they are offered there. Is it a spiritually transformative experience? No. Is it going to teach me pure Torah on the level that I could get at a really intensive yeshiva-style program? No. But if what I need it for is a graduate school, the it does the job, and I am no longer hoping for it to be anything else. I'm not sure if I should hope for it to be something else or not- it would be lovely if it were, but I don't think that it can do that without changing the culture so much as to be unreasonable, and when it tries, it mostly just gets sickening, whereas it makes a perfectly reasonable graduate/professional school.
No institution can do everything, and asking one institution to be spiritually transforming for each and every one of its students, to teach Torah on an intensive level equal to one where the students are doing nothing other than learning pure Torah lishma, and to provide significant professional training for rabbis in a variety of contexts is unfair and unreasonable. And yet, if I express satisfaction with it, even provisionally, I feel like I need to be on some sort of defensive, and/or like I'm giving in and settling for something that isn't as good as what other people are leaving to go find elsewhere- except that in each case, they're giving up some of those list of things that I'm not willing to give up. I just need to accept that what's right for them and what's right for me aren't always the same, and not to take their needing something different as a judgment on what I'm doing- but that's easier said than done.