debka_notion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
debka_notion) wrote2003-10-29 12:10 am
debka_notion) wrote2003-10-29 12:10 am
more recent thoughts
As far as recent doings go, dancing last night was an awful lot of fun. I got a ride as usual with SS, but MG as well as BD came with us. BD did really well and was quite enthusiastic for someone who is a beginner, esentially. Well, more than essentially, she is a beginner, no holds barred. But it was pleasant to have her there, although she was as she often is, very, very quiet. But MG , SS and I chatted quite a bit in the car. And while there, Felicia and I discussed HaMakor stuff, talked abotu a few other people to ask to join the group (anyone know people with dance experience who want to be in an Israeli Dance performance group that rehearses not too often, and usually on Thursday nights?), and as we are lackign a choreographer, I for some unknown reason volunteered to give it a stab, following an old piece for 3 dancers- so for some rehearsals, not everyone would need to be there: kind of handy. If we can pull that off, and I can manage the choreography (OD offered at lunch to day to give me a hand a bit, and I'm presuming that Alexis, Felicia, etc would be willing to help me tweak thigns a bit too so hopefully it will be doable) it'll mean we get to perform this year. I distrust skipping a year- it makes it that much harder to get started again. But much will depend on if we can get hte music, tambourines and notes/video for the old piece from Pam. I am not going ot try do choreograph an entire show on my first attempt. Well, I often learn things by jumping in.
Speaking of which, I will be the sole gabbay this weekend at minyan: should be an adventure, although I think I'll be able to do it fairly decently. PW and HS are getting all the service leaders and torah readers set in advance, so I shouldn't have too many irreasonable worries. I'm almost looking forward to it. Go figure- I guess I'm just that out of it.
Besides my assorted momentary worries, I'm surprising myself that I'm really doing quite well lately, at least since Nathan's visit (ok, that was only Saturday). While I'm worried about a few friends, I seem to be able to restrict that worry to when I'm talking to them or writing to them or the like. Some of their worries ring a number of bells with my own experience. Yet somehow I don't know how to give advice there. Perhaps because opening up, and balancing trust and that sort of thing is where I still feel subpar. But I'm not feeling upset at being limitted. This actually makes me rather proud of myself. ON the other hand, it's probably not such a good sign that I'm used to being upset or worried over something most of the time. No wonder I feel more comfortable, in an odd sort of way, when in conversation either I or the other person is troubled by something. I simply deal with that rather more often than not. Maybe it's just a condition of being a teenager?
Speaking of which, I will be the sole gabbay this weekend at minyan: should be an adventure, although I think I'll be able to do it fairly decently. PW and HS are getting all the service leaders and torah readers set in advance, so I shouldn't have too many irreasonable worries. I'm almost looking forward to it. Go figure- I guess I'm just that out of it.
Besides my assorted momentary worries, I'm surprising myself that I'm really doing quite well lately, at least since Nathan's visit (ok, that was only Saturday). While I'm worried about a few friends, I seem to be able to restrict that worry to when I'm talking to them or writing to them or the like. Some of their worries ring a number of bells with my own experience. Yet somehow I don't know how to give advice there. Perhaps because opening up, and balancing trust and that sort of thing is where I still feel subpar. But I'm not feeling upset at being limitted. This actually makes me rather proud of myself. ON the other hand, it's probably not such a good sign that I'm used to being upset or worried over something most of the time. No wonder I feel more comfortable, in an odd sort of way, when in conversation either I or the other person is troubled by something. I simply deal with that rather more often than not. Maybe it's just a condition of being a teenager?