He failed a midterm, asked me for "support", which I took to me, in classic Emma fashion as: "tell me what to do to fix things". What he meant was "tell me that you love me anyways". So I yelled at him for acting like I was his mother, and said that adults take care of such things for themselves. If he'd heard that the way I said it, he'd have known that I misunderstood him. But we were both kind of upset already. So eventually we hung up, and I got ready for shul, and was intensely worried that he was way too immature, etc. So later on we fought about whether or not my misunderstanding was a fatal flaw for our relationship or not, basically. He said that I messed up the first time he was upset in my "presence" as it were, and therefore I was likely to mess up again. Eventually I pointed out that the first email I sent to him where I was in a lousy mood and upset, he basically said that, while he'd kept all my other emails, he was throwing this one out, and that was it. Between than and telling him that he was fighting dirty (saying things like "I can't forgive you until I know I still love you" and telling me that I needed to come up there this weekend, with the implication that only that would prove that I cared enough about him.) and was fairly blunt about saying so, that he realized what he was doing, how much it freaked me out, and he apologized. Qian- all fights are vicious and uncomfortable. If they're not uncomfortable, they haven't done their job, usually. The point of fights is to deal with things that you can't deal with civilly. Almost 6 months is too early to have a first fight? I wouldn't know, of course, but...
May