debka_notion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
debka_notion) wrote2005-03-26 11:34 pm
debka_notion) wrote2005-03-26 11:34 pm
Thoughts on Head Covering (Yes, Again)
Before I get down to babble- Mazel Tov to Steve and Steve on their engagement! If they let me know that it's ok to publicize that fact in this sort of general medium, or if other folks on LJ start doing so first, I'll fill in names.
So, I've been doing another of my more militantly (for lack of a better word- suggestions for better words are being accepted) gender-egalitarian phases as far as my religious life goes, and have been experimenting with regular/most-of-the-time headcovering. I've found that I feel very oddly about wearing kippot- I'll wear one during davening, and all day on Shabbat or holidays, or in my room- but in public during the week, even on campus where people would probably adjust fairly quickly since they know me already, I don't seem to be up for doing that. I'm not sure why- clearly, I don't feel like it's men's clothing, since I wear one often enough- it's So much easier to deal with with tfillin than scarves/headbands... I guess I just don't want to deal with the looks. Of course, I wore a scarf the day I volunteered at the JOFA conference- bad move, someone told me I was married (in the context of apologizing for talking about being resentful of Kol Isha related issues in shul- not sure what that had to do with anything). Talk about making dress-code mistakes. I mean, related things have happened before ("You know you don't have to cover your hair until you're married." "Yes, I'm egalitarian and didn't want to wear a kippah at an Orthodox service, that's all. If I was covering my hair, I'd do it all the time, and more thoroughly than this (about 5 inches of head/hair covered tops) anyways." [THinking 'Unlike you, who's telling me I don't Need to do something until later when you use the verb need for something you don't do outside of shul.)
That paragraph was getting too long and wandering. So- back on topic... It's funny how much more aware of assorted brakhot with the headcovering. Sort of a "well, I don't have to go searching for something to put on my head now, so I guess I should at least start thinking about saying these things" sort of thing. I mean, that was one of the motivations behind the experiement (not sure if it's permanent or not yet). It's just a very different mind-set about what I do with my hair- headbands and clips tend to be a bit redundant. What I need is a really big clip that isn't one of those giant bows. Although the headbands are pretty non-obvious, I guess.
My other thought is- why am I up for maybe covering my head, which is minhag (custom), when I'm still sort of weirded out by the idea of me wearing tallit katan (still possibly minhag, but a way of fulfilling a piece of halakha). Partially I just don't know how wearing one with women's clothing would work (should talk to Amanda), but... Also because it still just seems outside the range of what women do. Kippot don't- I know lots of women who wear kippot in prayer situations. I always have. Tallit katan- seems entirely natural on men, it has from shortly after the first time I saw it. (Rather as tfillin, regardless of the gender of the wearer, just look Right. It was one of the startling things that happened the first time I went to an Egal morning minyan freshman year- it all just looked Right. But I'm sure I'm repeating myself.) But I just don't have a reference sphere for tallit katan on women.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zodiacmg has offered to let me try his, but I'm not sure that would give me a fair reading, since I tend to be very Aware of the fact that I'm wearing borrowed clothing if the clothing is anyone but maybe, maybe my mother's. And if I bought my own, I'd probably feel sort of obligated to wear it. Plus- I know zilch about how to know which sort one chooses, and I know there are sorts, and all that eep-inducing stuff. I want context, darn it.
So, I've been doing another of my more militantly (for lack of a better word- suggestions for better words are being accepted) gender-egalitarian phases as far as my religious life goes, and have been experimenting with regular/most-of-the-time headcovering. I've found that I feel very oddly about wearing kippot- I'll wear one during davening, and all day on Shabbat or holidays, or in my room- but in public during the week, even on campus where people would probably adjust fairly quickly since they know me already, I don't seem to be up for doing that. I'm not sure why- clearly, I don't feel like it's men's clothing, since I wear one often enough- it's So much easier to deal with with tfillin than scarves/headbands... I guess I just don't want to deal with the looks. Of course, I wore a scarf the day I volunteered at the JOFA conference- bad move, someone told me I was married (in the context of apologizing for talking about being resentful of Kol Isha related issues in shul- not sure what that had to do with anything). Talk about making dress-code mistakes. I mean, related things have happened before ("You know you don't have to cover your hair until you're married." "Yes, I'm egalitarian and didn't want to wear a kippah at an Orthodox service, that's all. If I was covering my hair, I'd do it all the time, and more thoroughly than this (about 5 inches of head/hair covered tops) anyways." [THinking 'Unlike you, who's telling me I don't Need to do something until later when you use the verb need for something you don't do outside of shul.)
That paragraph was getting too long and wandering. So- back on topic... It's funny how much more aware of assorted brakhot with the headcovering. Sort of a "well, I don't have to go searching for something to put on my head now, so I guess I should at least start thinking about saying these things" sort of thing. I mean, that was one of the motivations behind the experiement (not sure if it's permanent or not yet). It's just a very different mind-set about what I do with my hair- headbands and clips tend to be a bit redundant. What I need is a really big clip that isn't one of those giant bows. Although the headbands are pretty non-obvious, I guess.
My other thought is- why am I up for maybe covering my head, which is minhag (custom), when I'm still sort of weirded out by the idea of me wearing tallit katan (still possibly minhag, but a way of fulfilling a piece of halakha). Partially I just don't know how wearing one with women's clothing would work (should talk to Amanda), but... Also because it still just seems outside the range of what women do. Kippot don't- I know lots of women who wear kippot in prayer situations. I always have. Tallit katan- seems entirely natural on men, it has from shortly after the first time I saw it. (Rather as tfillin, regardless of the gender of the wearer, just look Right. It was one of the startling things that happened the first time I went to an Egal morning minyan freshman year- it all just looked Right. But I'm sure I'm repeating myself.) But I just don't have a reference sphere for tallit katan on women.
zodiacmg has offered to let me try his, but I'm not sure that would give me a fair reading, since I tend to be very Aware of the fact that I'm wearing borrowed clothing if the clothing is anyone but maybe, maybe my mother's. And if I bought my own, I'd probably feel sort of obligated to wear it. Plus- I know zilch about how to know which sort one chooses, and I know there are sorts, and all that eep-inducing stuff. I want context, darn it.
no subject
The problem with women's clothes and arba kanfot is not actually with the tzitziot themselves, but rather with the accompanying piece of fabric.
no subject
no subject
I think it's rather more complicated than that.
Point 1: The issue is not so much a matter of trying to ban everything — lest somebody enjoy life — as an unfortunate tendency to view Haredim as the ones who practice the "real" Judaism to which we all aspire. If you want, you can attribute it to the gaping hole in our tradition that was left by the Sho'ah, which left people with no source for halakhah lema`aseh but the Shulhan `Arukh and its various commentaries.
(The Sh"A, like every other legal code, reflects the traditions of a certain time and place. Joel Roth has a very convincing apologetic of Conservative Judaism in which he argues that before Karo's time, guarded progressiveness was the way of halakhah, which is why there are so many practices mentioned in the Talmud that no longer exist in our day. The fact is that this continued even after the major codes were written, and only a very few stayed effectively frozen in their practice. Thing is, now we've decided that they're the keepers of the flame.)
Point 2: I think you're partly right. We're definitely in the midst of a pissing contest when it comes to humrot, but we're also living in the middle of what you could call a revival of sub-nationalism in the United States. Latinos, Blacks, Jews — pretty much everyone but Arabs — have a lot more freedom to express cultural differences without being declared beyond the borders of mainstream society. The American Jew who once dropped mitzvot in order to seem more "American" is now adopting them as a way to celebrate being Jewish, which includes advertising Judaism. My theory, at least.
Forgot to add . . .
A lot of major poskim — R' Chayyim David Halevi, z"l, is the one in front of me — agree that beged ish/ah is a prohibition against conduct that might cause one to be confused for a member of the opposite sex. As such, I don't see how a deliberately concealed undergarment could fall into that category.
Re: Forgot to add . . .