Found Poem

[debka_notion]

One of mine, found in going through old email. From last late spring: I don't *think* that I posted it.

You see my hands: they are calloused as yours
> Strong and functional, with dishwater and garden
> dirt-
> Smashers of beetles, and saviors of earthworms.
> My back may be strong from the lugging of baggage,
> The carrying of infants, and the scolding of
> rascals-
> But there is more than just strength,
> The work is not enough.
> Pain makes you stronger, but strength makes you
> brittle:
> To pull out your weeds, you must also learn to bend.
> A garden and well-reared children await
> Not only for the strongest of men,
> Strength may be your backbone, but love must be your
> arms.

ANd one from late July:
It would have been…
> Perfectly reasonable
> Quietly happy, satisfying, comfortable-
> Had the door been closed.
>
> Had the door been closed,
> It would have been better, safer, easier.
> A door without a lock, like a door without a key-
> A keyhole waits, beckoning.
>
> A keyhole waits, beckoning,
> Beckoning for the key-
> “Come open me, try yourself in me”
> And if that key is found…
>
> If that key is found,
> There’s a magnet from within
> Distorting, pulling, twisting…
> At what it would have been.
>
Steve comments: "This was good."

Comments?

Comments

[doodah.livejournal.com]

See, Steve always says all that there is to be said before any of us get a chance. :)

So eloquent.

[danablanks.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I rarely have useful insights when reading poetry, but I must say, beautiful!

[tovah623.livejournal.com]

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

It's based on a poetic form from I think Polynesia. I forget what it's called, but I ran across it in one of my uncle's poems a while ago, and it worked well for what I was doing in that poem, so I tried it out. I really should play with it more.

[thevortex.livejournal.com]

There are a number of poets who also use that technique, though not necessarily keeping the whole line (e.g. e.e. cummings).

My ideas on these in person...

Huzzah!

The Vortex