The Classic Spontaneous Cohen Shot, Or More Thoughts on Ritual and Culture

[debka_notion]

(The Classic Spontaneous Cohen Shot: my mother's term for the carefully arranged table photographs taken of every table at Every event involving my father's family, primarily a result of the actions of my paternal grandmother's family, the Cohens [although they're not Kohanim, the original last name was Alpert- our very own Elis Island story], since my grandfather has Many fewer relatives.)

I was just looking through my grandmother's photo albums which are currently residing in our attic. They're rather a jumble, but I came across a well-organized section of photos from my grandparents' wedding, and a large album from my father's bar mitzvah. I was really rather surprised at which things were the same as events/photos of my own bat mitzvah, or as the weddings of friends which I have recently attended, and which things were different. The bar mitzvah album was probably more easily comparable: there were photos of the whole candle lighting routine- the one with 13/14 candles on a cake, in which the bar/bat mitzvah calls up different relatives and friends to light assorted candles, usually with rather tacky (and occasionally rhymed- ugh) tribute mini-speeches. I had thought that that was a creation of my generation, since my parents and I decided to do it only after seeing it at assorted friends/cousins' b'nei mitzvah celebrations. Now That would be an interesting thing to trace, although how one would do so, I don't particularly know. I don't know how such a thing would have originated. It seems like such a random piece of folk-ritual, especially considering how anti-folk-ritual people have been during the last century in general (yes, major generalization, but you get the point. My father is not young enough that he'd have had his bar mitzvah after the ressurgence of ethnic pride and ritual reclamation. And this isn't even that- it's a secular ritual associated with a religious event.) I suppose one could do interviews, and maybe check for responsa on whether or not it is permitted- but whether or not such documents exist is beyond me: I don't even know if it is something that is or was used at Orthodox b'nei mitzvah celebrations.

Added: Anyone interested in sharing their own experiences with/knowledge on these candlelighting ceremonies? So I can get an idea of how much it spreads? Also to asauge my general curiosity?

As for my grandparents' wedding pictures: I was rather surprised at how similar wedding dresses have stayed over that range of time. Certainly there were Some style differences, but not so many as I might have thought. There were a great many more hats in the photos than I might have thought (I was similarly surprised by the fact that my grandmother and great-grandmother were wearing white gloves at my father's bar mitzvah- I didn't realize that that was still done by then. Just goes to show how inaccurate my perceptions of fashion history are.). Certainly there was a great deal more attention paid to who wore what in my grandparents' wedding announcement clipped from the newspaper than there was in my parents' announcement, which described professions and schooling instead. I wonder how much of that is what information the paper asks for, and how much is just what one gives them. I was surprised at how dark-colored my grandparents' chuppah seems to have been: the ones I've seen have been white, or decorated in fairly light colors, if they aren't quilted ones, which seem to be much the fashion. I'd never seen a dark one before. Go figure.

Comments

[shirei-shibolim.livejournal.com]

I have two theories for the candle ritual:

1. It's an outgrowth of your basic birthday cake phenomenon, which someone decided to fancify and, eventually, to strip of cake.

2. It's a result of the Reform movement's re-acceptance of the bar mitzvah celebration, after a significant period in which it was replaced by a "confirmation" around age 15 (which still exists in many Reform and some Conservative synagogues), and reflects the need to form some kind of ritual around an occasion that doesn't really have any traditional ones other than davening and leyning.

I cannot substantiate either notion. The whole thing may predate the Reform bar mitzvah, and I'd be interested to know if that's the case.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

As for 1. Mine still was done on my cake. I take it yours wasn't?

I had a confirmation too, but that is, now-a-days, a much quieter event there, although I'm sure it was switched at one point. So you think it's constructed ritual to fill out space, basically? It's awfully graceful and accepted: I do find it interesting that a ritual like that would be so widely accepted, but many of the other rituals that people experiment with go nowhere. I have a feeling some socialite mother started it with her kid, and it caught on like wild fire- it's only the unplanned things that seem to work.

I don't know either- but I'll be doing some asking around...

[shirei-shibolim.livejournal.com]

As for 1. Mine still was done on my cake. I take it yours wasn't?

You know, I honestly don't remember.

So you think it's constructed ritual to fill out space, basically? It's awfully graceful and accepted: I do find it interesting that a ritual like that would be so widely accepted, but many of the other rituals that people experiment with go nowhere. I have a feeling some socialite mother started it with her kid, and it caught on like wild fire- it's only the unplanned things that seem to work.

The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if it was taken from sweet sixteen parties, or some other New World institution. I know very little about those, and would be interested to investigate the matter.

[hannahlin.livejournal.com]

I had never heard of the bar/bat mitzvah candlelighting ceremony until moving to the east coast and I've still never seen one. But apparently it's kind of a big thing.

I'm inclined to go with the socialite mother theory, given the apparent pattern of spread and the way other wedding and bar mitzvah traditions seem to invade.

Can one do a thesis on religious epidemiology?

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Well, one calls it the study of ritual inside of sociology of religion- but it's basically one of the options inside what I plan to do with my life- the other is to look at it via rabbinics. But yes, it would probably make an excellent thesis topic or article.

Hmm- didn't think that it might be an east coast thing. So it isn't anything you saw when you were making the bar/bat mitzvah circuit? Interesting.