A very full day of nothing much

Today I don't think I did much at all. Really and honestly. I read a lot, decided a book I'd liked before (ok, an umber of years ago) was pretty pointless (The Heldan, by someone whose name I don't remember), but that Robin McKinley is a lot better than I'd given her credit for. I talked with Mom, who was feeling a bit down over her doctor's visit- the doctor thinks she has arthritis and wants to MRI her back. I'm not sure if that should be used as a verb- probably not. I also got to talk with Dad about work and career paths and things. It wasn't somethign we'd talked about before- it just sort of happened. It was nice- I've barely gotten to see him this break, he's had tons of work. Hopefully at some point we'll get to spend some actual time together.
Tomorrow we're off to the annual Christmas Eve dance marathon in Boston, this year at KI rather than MIT. I'm looking forward to it, I'll get to see some folks that I haven't seen in a while. On the other hand- I'm kind of nervous about seeing Nathan. It isn't that we're on bad terms, just that how we relate seems to shift over every email, and he never seems to quite have made up his mind about things: he recently has insisted that he really wants to stay in touch, but that if he emails me, I shouldn't write back for a bit afterwards. This irks me- I Hate having unresponded emails lurking in my inbox for longer than a day or two at the most. So I complied this time, but explained my feelings about responding to emails, and that since we aren't dating, I would be by no means upset if he took significantly longer to reply. In any case- it was an odd email, and seeing him will be, a somewhat less sure experience than I originally expected. After we broke up, we'd been planning on getting together for an afternoon and everything, and now- he seems on the edge of angry with me, mostly for not sharing my irritations as they came up. I tried to explain that this wasn't something I was good at, even if I'd noticed/let myself notice them right away. So- I don't know what that will be like. Hopefully ok. Worst comes to worst- my family will be there and several friends. But, I'm nervous anyways, a bit.
I've picked up from this all just how impossible it is for me to get to know someone quickly, or for them to get to know me, for real, quickly. That's what Nathan and I did, and I think we never built a really solid foundation of who the other one was. That was- not wise, to say the least. Being home and seeing old friends as well as some folks I used to be friends with/friendly with made me pretty aware of that- how much my friends really know about me, and how different that is from the sort of surface level knowledge of me that most folks at school have. It takes time to know a person that well, usually, with a very few exceptions. That's an important thing for me to remember: that I am a fairly private person much of the time especially in person and that getting to know someone should take time, are the correlaries, I think. Ok, off to yield up the computer and have some tea, I think.

A very full day of nothing much

Today I don't think I did much at all. Really and honestly. I read a lot, decided a book I'd liked before (ok, an umber of years ago) was pretty pointless (The Heldan, by someone whose name I don't remember), but that Robin McKinley is a lot better than I'd given her credit for. I talked with Mom, who was feeling a bit down over her doctor's visit- the doctor thinks she has arthritis and wants to MRI her back. I'm not sure if that should be used as a verb- probably not. I also got to talk with Dad about work and career paths and things. It wasn't somethign we'd talked about before- it just sort of happened. It was nice- I've barely gotten to see him this break, he's had tons of work. Hopefully at some point we'll get to spend some actual time together.
Tomorrow we're off to the annual Christmas Eve dance marathon in Boston, this year at KI rather than MIT. I'm looking forward to it, I'll get to see some folks that I haven't seen in a while. On the other hand- I'm kind of nervous about seeing Nathan. It isn't that we're on bad terms, just that how we relate seems to shift over every email, and he never seems to quite have made up his mind about things: he recently has insisted that he really wants to stay in touch, but that if he emails me, I shouldn't write back for a bit afterwards. This irks me- I Hate having unresponded emails lurking in my inbox for longer than a day or two at the most. So I complied this time, but explained my feelings about responding to emails, and that since we aren't dating, I would be by no means upset if he took significantly longer to reply. In any case- it was an odd email, and seeing him will be, a somewhat less sure experience than I originally expected. After we broke up, we'd been planning on getting together for an afternoon and everything, and now- he seems on the edge of angry with me, mostly for not sharing my irritations as they came up. I tried to explain that this wasn't something I was good at, even if I'd noticed/let myself notice them right away. So- I don't know what that will be like. Hopefully ok. Worst comes to worst- my family will be there and several friends. But, I'm nervous anyways, a bit.
I've picked up from this all just how impossible it is for me to get to know someone quickly, or for them to get to know me, for real, quickly. That's what Nathan and I did, and I think we never built a really solid foundation of who the other one was. That was- not wise, to say the least. Being home and seeing old friends as well as some folks I used to be friends with/friendly with made me pretty aware of that- how much my friends really know about me, and how different that is from the sort of surface level knowledge of me that most folks at school have. It takes time to know a person that well, usually, with a very few exceptions. That's an important thing for me to remember: that I am a fairly private person much of the time especially in person and that getting to know someone should take time, are the correlaries, I think. Ok, off to yield up the computer and have some tea, I think.