I think my subject line reads like a paper title, but oh well. I was just reading a blog post somewhere about how bar and bat mitzvah celebrations tend to take over the entire service so that the community does not want to come, so they do not come so they family takes over more, so the community comes let, etc etc- into your standard vicious cycle.
Similarly, at shabbos lunch we were discussing the senior sermon at JTS- which tends to take on a similar atmosphere, complete with charge to the student, family who has no clue about the service sitting around waiting for the sermon, but getting as many honors as we can squeeze out for them, etc. (This week there were two senior sermons, one at night and one in the morning. At the one in the morning, there really was that atmosphere, complete with relatives using a shawl that wasn't a tallit as a tallit and thinking that it was one, etc. Amusingly, this was the grandson of friends of my maternal grandmother, and his grandparents were sitting in front of me and recognized me- they invited me back to the celebratory luncheon, but as I had plans already, I had a good reason not to go. Otherwise- I can only imagine that that would be Quite awkward.)
Last year, our new dean talked about trying to make the senior sermons less like a second bar/bat mitzvah, and to give other options that would be more meaningful. Apparently a lot of people like that sort of atmosphere though, according to the stuff I'm being told about current discussions on the issue. And it's very flattering, I'm sure. But it seems a little bit odd- that model of bar/bat mitzvah celebration doesn't prepare a child particularly well to be a responsible and involved Jewish adult. So why are we modelling an experience that is supposed to be the culmination of certain aspects of one's rabbinical training after a not-particularly-successful model? Or are we saying that a variety of preparation that is less than ideal for being a responsible Jew is actually ideal for being a responsible rabbi? Possible- but somehow, it still seems problematic to me.
It's possible that it is just me, as an active member of the JTS minyan of a reaosnably regular basis, kvetching because senior sermons often change the atmosphere completely- occasionally for the better, but generally for the worse. These weren't so bad- actually, the one in the evening was in the midst of some of the best Friday night davening that I've had in quite a while. But especially when I show up and all of a sudden the room is full of people who have never been at JTS before and never will again and don't know how to daven nor seem to want to pray- I resent it, because by that point it is generally also too rude to pick up and go elsewhere. It becomes a question of the minyan's priorities- community or senior sermon shtick. And there Ought to be some way to combine them better. Certainly we should celebrate the accomplishment of our graduating students- but maybe something a little more integrated would work better?
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