Missing Out?

[debka_notion]

I just read a post about Baalei Tshuva, Converts and the "COnverstion Experience" or the like. I know a number of people who have this moment where they decide "I want to do this religion thing all the way", or "This, in precisely this fashion, is Right". It's something I'm rather jealous of. It seems to be decidedly socially approved of in religious circles (although it's likely to get one looked at as a wacko in the secular world), and other people get all big-eyed about it. I mean, yes, I'm sure it must be a beautiful spiritual experience. But it leaves those of us who do a lot of struggling with where we are religiously and what exactly our duties and boundaries are, out in the cold. What's the role of someone who still isn't exactly sure about such things in a world where sudden flashes of momentary realization are the ideal? People complain that spirituality is harder for those who have no non-religious past to change from. That's something I can't speak to one way or the other. But when BTs are expected to have had some almost magical flash of decision, and That is what they are good for, in some way, it puts those of us who just keep walking and right now we're here but we're not sure if this is the end or a rest-break in a weird place. And well, it seems like some sort of catharsis that I'm missing that I'm supposed to have had.