debka_notion | Really Weird Ritual Ideas

So I'm reading a book about women's lifecycle ritual in modern Judaism (Lifecycled, ed. Debra Orenstein), and there's this quote about a suggestion for a parallel to Brit Milah for baby girls: "IN the early 1970s, Mary Gendler proposed that the parallel to Brit Milah ought to involve the irtual breaking of the infant girl's hymen. THis would incorporate the blood ritual and genital elements of Brit MIlah and, at the same time, free the baby girl from teh strictures of virginity. Here, as in Brit Milah, the sign of the covenant would be located in connection to the organ of generation." Thankfully, it follows with this "Gendler's suggestion, while provocative, has not been followed." Thank G-d. Talk about Weirdness. (The book otherwise makes some very interesting and useful interpretations of Brit Milah for the parents, although I think some might push the gender issue stuff a little too far.) It was just a reminder of how weird ideas can get when you're not thinking realistically, and how odd people's values get in relation to ritual sometimes...

(I tend to be uncomfortable with a lot of really innovative ritual: it feels silly and fluffy to me most of the time. Occassionally I can get into some of it and find it spiritually useful and meaningful- but unless I'm in a very secure place and the other people are also willing to get into it, I just feel silly, and that makes the whole thing useless. This is less in relation to this sort of ridiculousness, and more in relation to all this new women's ritual in general. Besides my taking issue with all these physically-related rituals which Judaism as a general trend has moved away from and has generalized things to age, so that these things can be more private and because they have less to do with one's self in public. More on this topic will probably come up as I keep reading this stuff.)

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I'm curious, has there ever been correlations drawn between the blood of the circumcision and the beginings of menstruation. It would seem, particularly if one were to take a stance (that I don't) of women being naturally closer to G-d, this self performing blood would, although in a different way and role because of age/time of typical,seem feasibly tied to the covenantal blood?

This book makes that suggestion and then shoots it down with the idea that then the inclusion in the covenant might not be complete until menstruation begins- and might even end when menstruation stops, although since the blood of circumcision functions as even a one-time thing, (even a drop will do, say for converts who were previously secularly circumcized) then that second part oughtn't be a necessary conclusion. But the first part seems like a relevant problem.

I'm not sure what material has addressed this, if any. I know there's a lot about blood and purity and the relationship between that stuff and organized ritualized religion... But directly linking the two? I don't know. It would be neat to explore though.

There's always clitoridectomy as an option.

One of my complaints about my Conservative Judaism class last year was that the teacher mentioned this as a proposed parallel to berit milah . . . and then went on to the next subject. A little "but nobody does this, and you will terrify the parents if you suggest it" wouldn't have hurt.

OK, that doesn't work on... several different and interesting levels. (But especially the one where virginity has an altogether separate significance in a number of areas of Jewish religious life. If we must find a nongendered parallel to the act of brit milah, I'm all in favor of some kind of ritual immersion or washing -- nice associations with both generation/childbirth and purification. Unfortunately, I think some Jewish breakaway sect snagged that idea several centuries back....)

I agree that creating new ritual can be difficult to do well. But I'm not sure I want to move altogether away from physical rituals either.

I wonder if I can tell my husband that we're only having boys until this gets worked out? ;)

I'm all for ritual, and all for Doing stuff sorts of ritual. What makes me uncomfortable are rituals designed for one's first period, and menopause and such. At least, doing these things and designating them as "rituals" feels really weird- doing them as unmediated group therapy might be good, or as group activities or whatever. But if the same group of people heard about having similar ceremonies for boys' first wet dream or erection or whatever, I have a feeling they wouldn't think it reasonable. I mean, I'm told that the Talmudic definition of when a boy is a bar mitzvah is when he has 2 pubic hairs. And clearly we don't go by that standard anymore (or my 5th grade students wouldn't have just all gotten their bar/bat mitzvah celebration dates). And I just have a feeling that things are a little better this way somehow. Maybe that's my Westernly trained sensibilities.

On the other hand, maybe adjusting to these rituals would make us all less nervous about other people finding out when we have our periods (at least, that seems to be the feeling I've seen from most people, and I have that myself, even if I think it ought to be silly) and all the other anxieties that come along with it. (I've seen all sorts of stuff on Mayim Rabim about finding ways not to show that you're in Niddah when at other people's houses or what not, for those folks who are strict about the no passing things and such like.)

I mean, I'm told that the Talmudic definition of when a boy is a bar mitzvah is when he has 2 pubic hairs. And clearly we don't go by that standard anymore

Actually, there are a number of situations in which we still accept that definition. Basically, any time one needs to fulfill a hiyyuvo dh^eôraitho for someone else, the person who's doing the action must be Bar Mitzvo according to the anatomical definition. We certainly pasken this way with regard to t^eqi`ath shôfor, and writing t^efillin / m^ezuzôth / sifrê thôro, and reading Poroshath Zokhôr. I'm pretty sure that many pôsqim rule this way even with regard to the reading of the M^eghillo, because even though it is not d^e'ôraitho, it is considered to be of a higher status than purely d^erabbonon.

*nod* While I am not generally someone who shares my bodily functions with the world at large, some of the drift on MR inspires me with the urge to announce over post-egalitarian-thank-you-minyan bagels as loudly as possible: "So, the other day, when I was having my period...."

(Actually, it occurs to me that I'm more likely to self-censor telling a casual acquaintance that (say) I've been cranky because I have menstrual cramps -- as I'd say if I had a headache -- because I don't want to be seen as justifying or even offering grounds for justifying my behavior on a hormonal basis. Getting rid of a little of the mythology that menstruating women are OMGScary (and we have our share of that in rabbinic Judaism) would be worth a number of cheesy rituals.)

"MR"?

Well, if hymen-popping ceremonies were performed all Jewish infant girls, and they were complete, that would get rid of the frikkin' annoyance of גזירת דם בתולים.

I wonder what'd be done for converts like myself...I thought prancing about nude in the mikveh in front of three rabbis was embarrassing enough! :) The complexities are fascinatingly endless.

Well, hatafat dam brit must be darn embarassing, and male converts have to do that Plus mikvah...

i can only imagine...or adult brit milah, ack...!

A friend of mine who converted as an adult said that the urologist/mohel, after the circumcision, just leaned over to him and said "it's prettier now" in a thick Israeli accent.

Really Weird Ritual Ideas

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Bar Mitzvo

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