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So, after missing the commuter rail that I'd planned to take, and calling home ot say I'd be taking a later train- I got ready for the day, and headed to Sherman to have something to eat, since I had time for that after all. And while there, I ran into Beth, Vera and Jonathan, and as they were headed to Rt. 128 Station, I begged (ok, asked somewhat diffidently, and received without much ado) a ride with them, since Beth's grandma was taking them to the station. So, I not only got to take the train I was originally intending to take without so much of a wait at the station, I got amusing company on the way home. We played a nice round of comparitive prayer books (The Nusach Sfard Artscroll has one repeat protection-related quotes three times each, which sounds rather odd when read aloud, which it also advised one person in a group to do- I don't get Artscroll), and also talked about variations in liturgy. It was a more exciting train ride than I usually have- usually I sleep and read, and that's about it. Unless it's a really long one, and then I sew too. (Mom was talking about maybe getting me a sewing machine- that would be neat, if I could learn to use it...)
So I got home, and after a light lunch, Mom's first decision of what to do with me- take me to Goodwill. So I have a few new skirts, a sweater and a blouse. We didn't finish there, because it was time for them to close.
I do find it odd that Mom keeps taking me shopping. There seems like there must be some deeper reason behind it- I don't think she really thinks I need all these new clothes all the time. I don't think I do. I think she wants to make me happy, but for that she doesn't need to buy me things. I think she also wants me to look nice, and perhaps she's decided that since she can't get me to lose weight, she'll try to either a. make me look nice by giving me lots of clothing options, or b. keep taking me shopping until I notice that so many things would fit better if I were thinner, and decide to lose the weight myself. If she's aiming for the latter, I don't think it will work any time soon- I'm pretty satisfied with how I look, generally. Not always, certainly, but over all, I don't have a problem with it. But it makes me worry a bit about my relationship with Mom- I didn't think she needed to express her affection that way, and it's starting to seem like she feels that need, or that I won't notice it otherwise. That worries me.
So I got home, and after a light lunch, Mom's first decision of what to do with me- take me to Goodwill. So I have a few new skirts, a sweater and a blouse. We didn't finish there, because it was time for them to close.
I do find it odd that Mom keeps taking me shopping. There seems like there must be some deeper reason behind it- I don't think she really thinks I need all these new clothes all the time. I don't think I do. I think she wants to make me happy, but for that she doesn't need to buy me things. I think she also wants me to look nice, and perhaps she's decided that since she can't get me to lose weight, she'll try to either a. make me look nice by giving me lots of clothing options, or b. keep taking me shopping until I notice that so many things would fit better if I were thinner, and decide to lose the weight myself. If she's aiming for the latter, I don't think it will work any time soon- I'm pretty satisfied with how I look, generally. Not always, certainly, but over all, I don't have a problem with it. But it makes me worry a bit about my relationship with Mom- I didn't think she needed to express her affection that way, and it's starting to seem like she feels that need, or that I won't notice it otherwise. That worries me.