Time Management

[debka_notion]

Today seems awfully long, in a very nice way. I got most of my mending done, and the last thing is hemming a shirt, which I'm not sure is going to be worthwhile- it does look rather obvious when I look at it thus far- the shirt is a cheap, ribbed tank-top, so... I had an interesting, sort of floating lunch, had a few folks back to my room to look at pictures and a very silly hat my mother got me that I haven't had the guts to wear yet (it's sort of square, has pompoms at the corners, and Daniel pointed out that if I added strings, I could use it as a bag). At one point I got kind of overwhelmed by the whole group concept, and got kind of upset and lonely, but folks were good to me, and I got myself back in proportion afterwards. From there, things looked up- I had a nice dinner, got to spend time with Brenna (makes me feel better after some issues we had around the end of last semester), and then got to the end of Beth's birthday party, and hung out with just Vera and Shlomiya afterwards.

I realized again that I do much better socially (outside of active things like dancing, and whatnot like that) in smaller groups of people. In large groups, it's just too hard to relate for long periods of time: it seems to lack meaning, and it gets me frustrated. Any meaningful interaction seems to need a smaller subdivision of people. I'm realizing that large specific groups, for all that they make me feel sort of left out at times, really aren't my thing. Ok, re-realizing. It's easier to focus, and to feel comfortable with just a few people. It gives me somewhere to start. I'm not sure if that's just an ok way to be, or just a stage on my way to being comfortable with larger groups, but I don't know if that matters.

Comments

[tovah623.livejournal.com]

There's no rule saying have to be comfortable in large groups. If u prefer small groups, it means u like having more focused interaction w/ ppl, and that's fine. Don't feel like u need to change urself. Since u realize this about urself, u can make the effort to generally interact in small groups, and figure out how to make the best of it when u are in large groups, but that doesn't mean u have to change urself.

Thanks!

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

THat makes a lot of sense. It isn't that I dislike large groups always- just that I don't like them for too long, and that I don't feel like I can really get to know people just in large group settings. But yeah- regardless of whether it would be better or not for me to be more comfortable in large groups, socially, I'm just going ot be me, and if that changes over time, nice, and if not- equally nice.

Nathan: yuk big groups

[(Anonymous)]

It's perfectly OK to feel uncomfortable with large groups. They can be quite bewildering. I don't like them either. I consciously avoid large gatherings of people I don't know.
It doesn't surprise me that you are like that. You are not some giant partying socialite (is that the right word?). You are a pretty private person. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone I talk to seems to be the same these days. Maybe I just like hanging with introverts.
Maybe we can draw a parallel with prehistoric times. When a tribe got too big, half of the people would just wander off together. Wow... I'm such a social scientist... (I'm such a phony)
Now that you know this, all the better for you to know what you will enjoy, and what you won't.