I've been thinking about why women who are, in Egalitarian set ups, as observant as or more so than many men who wear kippot, don't. Ditto things like tzitzit, although that's harder to tell about. In general, I've noticed that women are must less consistent about such things: note the number of women who wear a tallit but no kippah/headcovering or kippah and no tallit (more understandable, if they want to follow Ashkenaz custom about no tallit until marriage), when they behave as if they're obligated equally with men otherwise. I'm simplifying here: I understand that people could see a tallit or a kippah as men's clothing, and therefore not something a woman would feel comfortable with wearing. But- if men cover their heads, why don't equally observant egalitarian women?

My personal reaction to that question, which Mom brought up a while ago, is that it seems like a much more militant feminist statement than a statement of Jewish observance. It just isn't saying what I think it should be. It says "look at me, I'm making a big show of doing everything that men do", not "I believe in what I'm doing, and standing by my obligations". But- it seems almost assumed that a girl wouldn't make that decision. Not that I don't know one or two women who do, but it's far from as common. I guess I don't know what the full thought process is when a man makes that decision, so I don't know if it's similar or not.

The idea popped back in my head recently, both over Shabbat in a discussion of feminism, and yesterday, when I went to orthodox services for Mincha/Maariv (afternoon and evening prayers), and, besides being one of 2 women who actually stayed for Maariv (there were only 6 of us to begin with, versus I'd guess 15-20 men), since one or two planned on getting to late maariv, and others don't hold themselves obligated to pray three times a day, I realized that wearing a kippah might not be the most socially smart thing to do, since I don't have any really unobtrusive ones (I've seen ones so similar to one's hair color that they're hard to see). So I grabbed a scarf, tied it in a way that it covered some of my head, rather than the way I usually wear it, bunched up, as a headband. I figured that it would look like a headband, and G-d and I would know it was a purposeful headcovering. I suppose that is a similar idea to the really unobtrusive kippah. I suppose I really ought ot look into the real significance of a kippah: I was always taught it was a respect or a differentiation thing. But in both those cases, I'm not sure what would make it so gender specific, culturally. (Religiously, it makes sense fro mteh orthodox perspective: since one doesn't wear one to sleep, it's therefore timebound, and women are excempt, although I find that with the background given, that principle has been widely overapplied. That is, of course, why I'm not orthodox, or one of the reasons, though.)

From: [identity profile] debka-notion.livejournal.com

Re: kippot...


Part of my impression is that it's one notion of equality. I mean- the hat thing (which I don't think I have objections to: it's something I've thought about, although I'm sure it would distress my parents) indicates something about marital status. A kippah indicates somethign about pride/identification/respect. (And as far as I know, teh only thing close to suggesting that a kippah is requires is either tradition or some statement that says that if the custom of hte people around is to go bareheaded, Jews should wear hats, and if the people around wear hats, we should go bareheaded. Although that breaks down in Muslim countries, no?) They send different messages entirely. And if I wanted to cover my head using something other than a kippah, I'd run the risk of confusing people with that other symbol: not a message I want to send, particularly, since it's not true. (I have strong feelings about being honest about my identity.) Most of this is an emotive arguement more than reason-based, in any case. But it's really something I should do some good reading/learning about. Because I think it only gets more complicated..

From: (Anonymous)

Nathan on Yarmulkes


But when you're going to an orthodox service, doesn't minhag hamakom take precedence? With the minhag of egal and from there down being "what you feel comfortable with"?
I agree with Arnon (that is who he is, right?) on the yarmulke being a sort of symbol of "I'm Jewish (often but not always religious as well) and proud of it" to a lot of the people who wear it. And it's a statement of tradition. Your covert covering of the head amuses me therefore. It's so you...

From: [identity profile] debka-notion.livejournal.com

Re: Nathan on Yarmulkes


I guess so, unless you cna find some way to harmonize your custom and minhag hamakom: and my scarf did that, I Think. It isn't like they don't know I'm egal, and it isn't like I haven't seen other egal girls wear kippot at occasional orthodox services. Heck, I know someone (female) who sometimes wraps tfillin at an orthodox service. THe thing is that the minhag of egal is in theory different from what it is in practice. By Egal halakha, women are obligated to cover their head just as much as men, if you want to call that an obligation: it's basically minhag old enough to have nearly the force of halakha, as far as I understand things. But for me, it's a symbol of respect for G-d, and for Judaism, and is a reminder that G-d is always there.
It does amuse me and puzzle me that if I were to start wearing a kippah, I'd get all sorts of weird looks as a militant feminist. But if I were to get married and start covering my head or hair, I'd get weird looks from people who'd approve of me wearing a kippah. And yet, in theory I agree with both practices, I think.
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