Modesty

[debka_notion]

I've been thinking rather a bit about my own conception of modesty today, due to some responses from belu to my last post and the whole situation that they surround. To sort of form a base, I certainly don't follow traditional Jewish rules for modesty in their stricter sense: I wear sleeveless shirts on occasion (depending on situation: I feel much less comfortable with them on campus), low necklines, slacks... And I don't have a problem changing under something with people around, even people of both genders (with just girls around, I have no problem effectively stripping and changing, although I don't think I'd want to hang around undressed.

On the other hand, I purposefully "couldn't find" and "forgot about" my shorts all last summer. I just really Didn't like the idea of wearing them. And so I didn't- I did just fine with slacks and skirts. But I don't in theory have a problem wearing my bathing suit to a public beach/pool, although once I have it on, I feel pretty self-conscious for a while. I also don't wear it much- I swim terribly rarely.
I've also noticed that my sense of what constitutes modest dress or behavior changes significantly by situation. What's ok to wear at dancing is different from what's ok at school, which is drastically different from what's ok at dance camp. So- this seems to be based on the standards of the environment, which would basically be the standards of the people around me. So I can't quite decide if that counts as just giving in to the standards of the people around me, or if it's being polite. But there are things I own that I'm quite comfortable wearing at home, and get kind of edg and anxious about wearing at school. To some extent, I've just made that distinction in what I wear where. But- I worry that it's hypocritical of me. OH well.

It makes this play interesting- usually theater is about as relaxed an environment as I'm in, like dance camp. But the people in this play seriously span the full range of modesty values. And I don't want to offend anyone. But I also tend to feel pretty relaxed about things in that environment. It makes me very, very aware of how contradictory my senses of appropriate dress really are.

Comments

[fleurdelis28.livejournal.com]

Could just be that modesty is completely contextual. An accidental glimpse of a woman's ankle used to mean you had to sleep with them immediately if you possibly could (there's a minor character in _Les Misérables_ who was conceived that way); I don't know anyone these days who has that problem. I imagine that the same variations exist from contemporary place to place as do from time to time.

(Interestingly, I've read about at least one nudist camp that strictly prohibits the wearing of just underwear -- all clothes and no clothes are fine, but partial dress is considered indecent.)

[nuqotw.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I refuse to wear shorts in front of men. Not sure why, but I haven't liked it since I was 12. But I have no problems with swim suits, although they seem to be developing, hmmm.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Your swimsuits are developing? Developing what? A desire for world domination? Should I be scared? And what about a abthing suit with shorts over it?

[nuqotw.livejournal.com]

no no. i am developing problems with swim-suits.

a swim suit with shorts is worse still. I feel like shorts pretend to cover up part of the leg, and fail miserably. if i am going wear anything on top of a swim suit, it will be pants

no, i am not developing a desire for world domination. i HAVE a desire for world domination

[fleurdelis28.livejournal.com]

Yes, but do your swimsuits?