Response Without Intonation

[debka_notion]

"This is not a personal attack nor is it a tantrum or offensive I am just responding to your post."

I always find it rather interesting when people have written a response that requires a disclaimed like the one above (stolen off http://www.groups.yahoo.com/rikud). The rest of the email did indeed sound rather like either an attack or a tantrum, even though I agreed very much with what the author was saying, for the most part. So why didn't the author put this disclaimer at the beginning of his post rather than as the very last sentence? The former arrangement prepares the reader to read somethign that will sound, to their intuitively added intonation, like an angry response. However the latter allows the reader to read the whole thing, and only then realize that they were probably using the wrong intonation. At least to me, it suggests that the writer rather wanted to be at least a bit ticked off with the post to which he was responsing, and realized that that wouldn't be polite or socially correct (especially since this is a listserve where a Lot of the people do know eachother offline: the world of heavily involved Israeli Dancers is not so large as all that.), and so he got his frustration out and only then said that he wasn't upset. I'd call anything where you have to say that you're not upset an expression of those sorts of feelings, and however you try to mask them (in this case, as in many, very obviously), that doesn't change that fact.

Comments

[shirei-shibolim.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, what was the subject of the letter?

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

"[Steve Steveson] Shalom
I wounder why is it that [Steve2] is angry with you ( leader to a
participants? )
Why is it that you question [Steve2] choice of his substitute teacher on this
rikud list ( participant to the leader)
What right do you have to criticize any dancer when you are just sitting on your
chair and not participating with the evening program? ( dancer treating other
dancers)
From what you write I see that you are an intelligent Israeli man with perfect
English and knows a lot about Israeli dance and it's history you also wish to
have a session of your own some time , it might be a good idea for you to really
experience what dos it take to be a leader ( some day a choreographer perhaps? )
Than you will really will be able to practice what you preach?
This is not a personal attack nor is it a tantrum or offensive I am just
responding to your post. [Steve3]"

[fleurdelis28.livejournal.com]

That sounds like writing the post, realizing it sounds like it might be one of those three things, and then scribbling a disclaimer at the end rather than editing for either content or form.

While clarifying that you don't mean to be attacking someone personally and are not throwing a tantrum is useful, I'm not sure one can state that one is not being offensive. That would seem by nature to be in the ear of the beholder.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Here is where my knowing the writer, at least a bit, and knowing that his English is atrocious suggests that he may be trying to say that he doesn't mean to be offensive. Honestly, I think I just skipped that word when I read the post before.

It just reads so much like a bit of a frustrated semi-attack that it seemed like an attempt to get away with it by tacking on a semi-accurate disclaimer at the end. The writer probably is frustrated- the person to whom he is responding is constantly critical without being very useful. Which might be coloring my reading of the post.

[nuqotw.livejournal.com]

This is a personal attack and a tantrum and offensive and it's directed at your post. Or it's 4 am and instead of going to sleep I'm posting mostly meaningless comments.