Appropriateness

[debka_notion]

Steve, who I'd met once before at another dance event, was at dancing last night as he was still in town from the festival. He taught a dance that I thought was pretty pointless. But that is besides the point of this post. He was there wearing a shirt that said "Not Guilty" on the front and "She told me she was 18" and a little smiley face on the back. I was a bit shocked, but didn't really want to say anything: for all I knew, other people thought it was funny. But zodiacmg shared my opinions, as did another friend of ours. It was just a strange thing to wear- it made it sound like he thought that having these sorts of legal protections for kids was silly, for one. And for two, it made for some very odd connotations about his own private life, something I'd think one wouldn't want to share with strangers. ANd close-knit as the IFD community is, he Couldn't have known everyone in that room before he came... It did not make me think too highly of that aspect of the gentleman's judgement...

And I just ut myself on my own hangnail.

Comments

[fleurdelis28.livejournal.com]

I tend to assume that wearing a shirt like that reflects one's sense of humor rather than one's personal behavior. One clue in this case is that if he were actually encountering statutory rape laws in his personal life, he would have discovered for himself that the shirt had given him bad legal advice. "She told me she was eighteen" won't help you in most jurisdictions.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

I'm sure. I was more suggesting that he would find such a situation amusing and therefore sort of appealing...

[redlily.livejournal.com]

Eugh. That is pretty much the opposite of classy.

[carnilius.livejournal.com]

You'd probably feel worse in Southern CA. That is one of the shirts that Orly (David Dassa's assistant, who is going to start her own session) designs. A lot of people wear her shirts, and they ALL say sarcastic things like that. Personally, I have no idea why anyone likes them... Apparently Britney Spears wore one of them in a magazine once..

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

I know. zodiacmg told me when we were commenting on it.

Sarcastic is ok- I may or may not understand it, but it's ok. It's when it makes statements about one's sex life, even if imaginary, that I find it in poor taste/inappropriate. And it just seemed more inappropriate since he was on this coast because he'd come with a performing group consisting of high school kids, even if said kids were not with him then.

[theshrewd.livejournal.com]

I tend to find all shirts in that vein to be in bad taste, no matter what the occasion.

IANAL, but...

[belu.livejournal.com]

I think the laws about this subject are probably about the most complicated laws a high schooler needs to know. They go something like "If the older party is at least 16 [16 does seem to be more common than 18], and the younger party isn't, then it's a felony, unless they're less than 2 years apart, in which case it's not a crime so long as they're both at least 12, and if one is less than 12, the older one (who'd be less than 14) wouldn't be tried as an adult anyway, or unless the younger one is at least 14, in which case it's a misdemeanor, as it is when the age difference is between 2 and 4 years and both parties are at least 12. Oh, and it's a big no-no if one is in a position of power over the other, who's under 18." And fleurdelis28 is right about there not being a way, short of waiting it out or not getting caught, to get out from under this "protection", which is arbitrarily different based on what state you're in.

I think the tax code is a bit more complicated, but if you're a high schooler who has reason to know that, you hire someone else to know it for you. It's not like those aren't available.

Re: IANAL, but...

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

They are, and I think even I knew them, and I had no particular need to know them, I think- so somehow the information gets around.

The thing is, this guy is older than I am- I'm not sure how much, but it's at least a couple of years, and probably a little more than that.

Re: IANAL, but...

[belu.livejournal.com]

Well, if he's not too much older than you, then it's not too weird for him to be together with an 18-year-old. (Especially if said 18-year-old is mature for her age.) Not really a problem until you know who it is the girl is and what they're like and that shows problems.

As for the girl who's successfully passing as being 18 (or whatever), as far as I can tell, the only problem there would be legal. And such a situation makes sense to me; it's not like he was wearing a shirt that said, "I swear I didn't know she was 3."

But until you see or hear of an actual girl or court case, then it can probably be safely assumed to be an expression of his sense of humor.

Re: IANAL, but...

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

somehow the computer put my response a bit down from here- go find it there, I guess. (I hope it puts this comment in the right place...)

Adhar

[margavriel.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on! It's the month of Adhar, when everyone can be a little goofy. Yes, the humor of the shirt is in poor taste, but that's the whole point! (And no, I don't think that the message on the shirt reflects either the wearer's personal life, or his opinion regarding statutory-rape laws.)

Re: Adhar

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Goofy is one thing (I myself have a t-shirt that I don't wear terribly often because the joke only makes sense in fairly knowledgable IFD circles that a friend made that reads "I love this dance. It's Dudu."), and sexually charged is another. They're completely different issues.

[(Anonymous)]

Legal protections?


Uh-oh.

Re: IANAL, but...

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure it is. I just think that it's sort of unfortunate humor, and not humor that you'd want to wear in a place with folks you don't know. Especially as something of a guest teacher who wants us to like his dance... It strikes me as bad taste.