My First Weird Neighbor Encounter

[debka_notion]

Yesterday I had my first sort of weird encounter with an Israeli- in this case, one of the neighbors.  I unthinkingly walked out carrying my tallit bag on its own, so although the fabric is rather unusual for that sort of thing, it was pretty clear what it was.  So my neighbor (I think he's in the next building over) who was about to go for a walk, it seemed, came over and asked if I wore tzitzit.  I decided to be simple and just say yes, rather than giving details, since a. it isn't really his business, and b. my spoken Hebrew is lousy, especially when I'm nervous.  Thank goodness, he decided that this was kind of neat, rather than weird and/or horrific, but he became rather curious and asked if he could take his walk with me as I walked to shul.  Then he proceeded to be surprised at how far away shul was (around 20 minutes- not that long a walk really), and also to try to persuade me of the wonders of living in Israel.  He first claimed that unlike America, it's safe for women to walk around Jerusalem at night alone- I replied that I do that in New York, too (and there, I don't have to worry about police searching my home without a warrant, as happened to my roommate's sister's boyfriend recently here).  THen he decided that I'd meet a nice young man at yeshiva- I said I had one back in the states, to which he decided that he too would decide to move here.  I lapsed into quiet, because really, I had no idea how to answer that one in Hebrew without getting totally flustered.  Luckily at that point shul wasn't so very far away...  Still, could have been Much worse.  

Funny- here I am, in a place where Judaism is a majority culture, and in order not to get really awkward conversations and weird looks (there were people who came by our hakafot at the egalitarian minyan I was at yesterday basically to gawk- just a few of them, but they were pretty obvious. One of them had a camera, which I found majorly disrespectful, but not being a real member of the community yet, I didn't want to say anything, since I imagine that that could stir up some difficulty, and I don't know their approach to such things yet.  Still, I have to think about how to hide myself and my identity here, in a way that I rarely have to do in the USA.  It is uncomfortable, both in the ways that I have to limit myself or get awkward questions if not worse, and intellectually/emotionally, feeling like my life is unacceptable.   I wonder if this is the faintest shadow of what folks of alternative sexual orientations have to go through...

Comments

[mbarr.livejournal.com]

Just to note: there were folks that went to BJ this year, basically to gawk. It's not an Israeli thing.. just weird.


Sounds like you're doing well :) (Yes, this constitutes dealing w/ culture shock well...)

We miss you!

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Jews as weird cultural thing to watch. Hey, I guess we do it to the hareidim, so I should have some mercy on those who do it to us.

I'm doing well, considering- not well overall, but given the situation...

I miss you folks too.

[qianian.livejournal.com]

I don't understand. Are they all conservative or something?

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

Israelis mostly fall into two categories- orthodox or secular. The thing is that the secular Israelis usually are of the persuasion that "I don't go to synagogue ever- but the synagogue that I don't go to is Orthodox".

[hotshot2000.livejournal.com]

For an encounter with an Israeli, that was shockingly mild. Just wait until you get to the insightful בן או בת comments and cab drivers who tell you that you don't need to be a rabbi, marry one instead!

Regarding the gawking -- I just think of it as kiruv. :-) (You should have been here for our הכנסת ספר תורה last year when we marched up and down Emek Refaim and through the neighborhood. That was awesome.)

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

As I said- weird, rather than difficult, traumatic, or anything of that sort. I mean, it was difficult, but only because my spoken Hebrew is so stilted.

Hmm- now That's a useful attitude (the kiruv concept). I'll try to adopt it- thank you.