In Which I Change A Lightbulb, and Wonder About Gender Roles

[debka_notion]

The living room light went out as I turned it on. So I grabbed another bulb (after finding out where we had some from the available roommate), and changed the bulb. Not a big deal, except that the last 3 years, I lived in a set of rooms where the ceilings were too high to actually change my own ceiling lights, as I did not own a ladder. (Lamps were a different story.)

I acquired a copy of the new edition of Va'ani Tefilati (the Masorti movement's siddur) today, as they arranged a very nicely priced sale of them at Schechter (less than half the usual price, a very nice thing for us student types). It's hard cover, has all your basic things that one wants in a prayer book, and a nice font. I'll probably stick with my Koren for most things, as that has Sefer Tehillim (the book of Psalms) in it as well as all the stuff that they share, but it's definitely something that I'm enjoying having.

I stayed after school to do homework, today, then walked to the Conservative Yeshiva to do some trope teaching (week 2, and my student is doing pretty well. It's a totally new thing for him, so mostly we did a bunch of practicing, but it's going increasingly well. Darga and tevir seem to be good trope for him, he's caught on to them very quickly, faster than the others. There's something very friendly about that set of trope, somehow, in my mind. Go figure.), and from there walked home with wotyfree. It's been a very wotyfree-full week, which I'm enjoying. We spent some time talking about gender roles and the performance of gender (not that we used the latter term, I don't think, but it's basically what it was). I've been talking about such things with one of the roommates as well. I like differentiated gender roles in social interactions, myself (within reason, of course), and therefore when people use them or respond to my gendered behavior, I tend to reinforce such things positively. It's what I prefer, after all. But at the same time, it makes things more difficult for people who prefer a less gender-differentiated social experience. I'm uncertain as to how to balance between what I like and think is generally beneficial, and what other individuals might prefer and think is ideal.

It is now somewhat later than I thought that it was. Off to bed goeth I.

Comments

[jonahrank.livejournal.com]

Ooh... a new edition of Va'ani Tefillati? Is it just a reprinting, or are there changes?

I'm a fan of Va'ani Tefillati...

By the way, I've been somewhat quiet on this blog, but I have been following... I just don't have too much to say I s'pose...

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

There are indeed changes. I've only used the old one once, but this one is different, and actually quite pretty.

Glad to know you're still reading- I can certainly sympathize with not having a lot of comments at times. How are things by you?

[jonahrank.livejournal.com]

Oooh... very cool! I may have to buy one, or at least examine a new one very closely then!

Things are good by me... I literally just had my Rabbinical School Interview. (I got back 15 minutes ago.) I will hear by mid-January supposedly... Things are generally good but crazy by me... I guess things are a pretty good mix of peculiar and relatively good in Israel, for you, eh?

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

So Rab School. I'm glad you're feeling good about it. And awfully early in the year for your interview, no? I mean, they're just about to do the Israel ones, and those are usually first. So what's the story?

If you've been doing rab school applications, no wonder things are crazy with you.

Peculiar is a good word for life in Israel, for me.

[jonahrank.livejournal.com]

So, this year JTS Rab School is doing two admissions deadlines: Early Admissions and Regular Admissions. They're the same, but I guess it's easier for the Admissions Director to coordinate hypothetically 10 people applying in November and 10 in February rather than 20 in February. So, I've gone for the Early Admissions deadlines to get it out of the way.

Ah, yes, the rabbinical school applications were crazy indeed. Not only that, but my Senior Thesis is keeping me pretty busy... and finishing up the Mahzor... and homework... and life... etc...

[awful-dynne.livejournal.com]

Could you elaborate a little more on what you mean by gender roles and gender performance/gendered behavior? I'm not entirely clear on what you mean, though it sounds very interesting.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

THe problem is that I can't really explain it fully, because I'm still working it out- as is, I think, our entire society. But the basic concepts, so that what I was writing about maybe vaguely makes sense:
Performing gender: doing female or feminine/male or masculine. Taking upon oneself the characteristic behaviors that you associate with your gender. E.g. performing or accepting chivalrous behavior (a man holding doors for a woman, getting the check at a restaurant, etc and a woman either accepting or expecting those sorts of things) Those things are gendered behavior. Does that help any?

[awful-dynne.livejournal.com]

Thank you, yes, it helps a little. Though, to clarify, in your post you said that you, "like differentiated gender roles in social interactions, myself (within reason, of course), and therefore when people use them or respond to my gendered behavior, I tend to reinforce such things positively." and I guess I'm still a little unclear about the broader social interaction and how the behavior reflects being classified as gendered. Using your example of a man holding a door for a woman I guess I have two questions: 1) if there is no man around would that mean the woman who holds open the door is performing a masculine behavior? and 2) for every action there must be a reaction, and you mentioned expectation or acceptance, is that related to your idea of reinforcement? I'm also curious about how this would play out if the social interaction were just hanging out in a common area such as playing a board game in a friend's living room, post-door opening :) Do my questions make sense? I'm trying to figure out where the differentiation is between gendered behavior/roles and personal behavior outside of gender distinctions.

[outofnapkins.livejournal.com]

Performance anthropology about gender makes me all giddy. Post about it more!

I could lend you my copy of Erving Goffman when you get back, if you like.

[(Anonymous)]

hey daughter, reading your writing about gender-performanced-and-nuanced roles brings me back to my own verbiage when i was an as yet untested woman-thing, in the days of feminism. i would reassure you to just enjoy feeling feminine, & acting out however as much femininity as you find satisfies you, without concern that you lose power (over doors or anything or anyone else). but hey, this is just your mother talking.