In Which I Change A Lightbulb, and Wonder About Gender Roles

[debka_notion]

The living room light went out as I turned it on. So I grabbed another bulb (after finding out where we had some from the available roommate), and changed the bulb. Not a big deal, except that the last 3 years, I lived in a set of rooms where the ceilings were too high to actually change my own ceiling lights, as I did not own a ladder. (Lamps were a different story.)

I acquired a copy of the new edition of Va'ani Tefilati (the Masorti movement's siddur) today, as they arranged a very nicely priced sale of them at Schechter (less than half the usual price, a very nice thing for us student types). It's hard cover, has all your basic things that one wants in a prayer book, and a nice font. I'll probably stick with my Koren for most things, as that has Sefer Tehillim (the book of Psalms) in it as well as all the stuff that they share, but it's definitely something that I'm enjoying having.

I stayed after school to do homework, today, then walked to the Conservative Yeshiva to do some trope teaching (week 2, and my student is doing pretty well. It's a totally new thing for him, so mostly we did a bunch of practicing, but it's going increasingly well. Darga and tevir seem to be good trope for him, he's caught on to them very quickly, faster than the others. There's something very friendly about that set of trope, somehow, in my mind. Go figure.), and from there walked home with wotyfree. It's been a very wotyfree-full week, which I'm enjoying. We spent some time talking about gender roles and the performance of gender (not that we used the latter term, I don't think, but it's basically what it was). I've been talking about such things with one of the roommates as well. I like differentiated gender roles in social interactions, myself (within reason, of course), and therefore when people use them or respond to my gendered behavior, I tend to reinforce such things positively. It's what I prefer, after all. But at the same time, it makes things more difficult for people who prefer a less gender-differentiated social experience. I'm uncertain as to how to balance between what I like and think is generally beneficial, and what other individuals might prefer and think is ideal.

It is now somewhat later than I thought that it was. Off to bed goeth I.

Comments

[awful-dynne.livejournal.com]

Could you elaborate a little more on what you mean by gender roles and gender performance/gendered behavior? I'm not entirely clear on what you mean, though it sounds very interesting.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

THe problem is that I can't really explain it fully, because I'm still working it out- as is, I think, our entire society. But the basic concepts, so that what I was writing about maybe vaguely makes sense:
Performing gender: doing female or feminine/male or masculine. Taking upon oneself the characteristic behaviors that you associate with your gender. E.g. performing or accepting chivalrous behavior (a man holding doors for a woman, getting the check at a restaurant, etc and a woman either accepting or expecting those sorts of things) Those things are gendered behavior. Does that help any?

[awful-dynne.livejournal.com]

Thank you, yes, it helps a little. Though, to clarify, in your post you said that you, "like differentiated gender roles in social interactions, myself (within reason, of course), and therefore when people use them or respond to my gendered behavior, I tend to reinforce such things positively." and I guess I'm still a little unclear about the broader social interaction and how the behavior reflects being classified as gendered. Using your example of a man holding a door for a woman I guess I have two questions: 1) if there is no man around would that mean the woman who holds open the door is performing a masculine behavior? and 2) for every action there must be a reaction, and you mentioned expectation or acceptance, is that related to your idea of reinforcement? I'm also curious about how this would play out if the social interaction were just hanging out in a common area such as playing a board game in a friend's living room, post-door opening :) Do my questions make sense? I'm trying to figure out where the differentiation is between gendered behavior/roles and personal behavior outside of gender distinctions.

[outofnapkins.livejournal.com]

Performance anthropology about gender makes me all giddy. Post about it more!

I could lend you my copy of Erving Goffman when you get back, if you like.