debka_notion | A Weekend On Our Own

After our first week back to a "real-life" schedule (really, our first shot at it, as since our last "full week", H's school schedule has changed, I've acquired a relatively hours-intensive part-time job, and H has started night seder twice a week- I join him for it once a week), we were not quite feeling like hosting a shabbos meal- so we did something quite unusual for us, and had both meals on our own. It was both lovely- lots of time together, after a very busy week, and a somewhat calmer Friday in preparation- and also left me feeling like that is a lot of time on our own to make conversation through all of. It was worthwhile- but next time, I might try to think of some things to talk about, as well. I love talking to H about pretty much anything and everything- but everyone has quiet moments.

Sunday was also a lot of "just us" time, although a good amount of it was spent on homework, and on phone calls with my family. I feel a bit bad- H's family seems to get less of our phone time, and we're missing talking to them- but they're not as firmly scheduled in, and so things get in the way of the call... This is definitely something to work on. On the other hand, I had a long and lovely conversation with my sister, which was a very nice surprise.

This week promises to be just as busy as last week, if not more so, as it will culminate in a weekend at my parents' place, and the celebration of my grandmother's wedding on Motzei Shabbos. So- we need to fit shabbos preparations and packing (and outfit choices) into the week, along with travel time and the like. Should be good- but should definitely be busy.

And today, I take a 9 year old trick-or-treating, or at least pass out candy for his mother while he goes with a peer in the building- details still TBD. I'm thinking curiously about what approach to Halloween I want to stand behind, and I really don't know. Excuses for costumes and candy come around only so often- but the "not Jewish" aspect is a worry. We'll see what I think tomorrow, I guess.

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I think Valentine's Day and St Patrick's day are very different from Halloween. Partly because they still *have* a religious aspect, and people can meaningfully refer to "what St Patrick's Day is really about" and "What St Valentine's day is really about". (That said, while I wouldn't actively encourage those things for Jewish kids, I *also* wouldn't be so active about prohibiting it as I would about Christmas and Easter, especially for kids who go to public school).

St Patrick's day is also different because it is an extremely ethnically loaded holiday. For Irish Americans, it's about being specifically Irish. Irish-American parents sometimes come into schools to be ethnic at the students. Which I think means it's much more actually in the category of *davka* goyish things rather than things that the goyim do which we can also do if we want.

I think one could say that Halloween is still connected to All Souls Night and All Saints Day, about as much as Valentine's Day is connected to St. Valentine. Ok- maybe that's overstated, a bit. And fair enough about St. Patrick's Day, although it does seem to get celebrated by the masses as well...

And I wouldn't prohibit a kid from participating at school, I think- but participating at home might send a different message. You know, the difference between "sharing someone else's tradition with them" and it being "ours". On the other hand, you're right about all the things a Jewish kid doesn't get- although they do get other things, including another chance to dress up, come springtime. I think that if I was going to encourage kids not to trick-or-treat, I'd aim to make hanging out and giving out candy something really special, with benefits that you'd miss if you were trick-or-treating. But that's compensation, presuming that I'd already decided against... So it's jumping the barrel- or whatever that expression actually is, that I'm not remembering.

A Weekend On Our Own

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