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Got home yesterday from the wedding of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zachkessin and kmelion, which was quite lovely, and very much in a different mode from the other weddings I've been to. This one was sans the descriptions of what was going on or who was who, many of the English translations, and a seating arrangement, although I think that people went for that sort of seating anyways. That said, the photographer, I believe, missed the table full of Brandeis types for the table shots he was doing (aka the "classic spontaneous Cohen shot", as dubbed by my mother for my father's family's tendency to take such carefully staged table shots at every event where they possibly can). But well, there was dancing, and I think we sort of made sure that there kept being dancing- it got off to a sort of low-energy start, and some of us saw that, decided that we were going to dance, Now, and did so with enough energy that it went on for a pretty decent amount of time. All the practice I've gotten from being asked to encourage dancing and be out there with energy at some bnei mitzvah at home that I've been invited to, seems to have paid off in technique at least. The whole wedding felt very short- the ceremony maybe because there was less translation, and it was a traditional, not egal ceremony of course, which shortens things.
The oddest occurance of the wedding was right after Ma'ariv- I got back, and was putting my siddur and kippah away (I finally gave up on finding something that would look ok in an orthodox setting, look properly formal for a wedding, and still provide enough head coverage that I felt comfortable praying- no seems to have been deadly offended), and this girl came up to me, and asked me if I always prayed with a minyan (I said I'm working on it), and told me she'd never seen something like that. I said I was egalitarian- she'd never heard the word. I asked her if she knew anyone who davened (Prayed) at a Conservative shul- she said no. So I briefly explained the concept. But for a young woman (definitely over 15, probably under 18) not to know what egalitarianism is? It was frightening, rather. (She was, by the way, the daughter of the photographer, not family or a friend of either side.)
Dave's here, got in yesterday before dinner.
zachkessin and kmelion, which was quite lovely, and very much in a different mode from the other weddings I've been to. This one was sans the descriptions of what was going on or who was who, many of the English translations, and a seating arrangement, although I think that people went for that sort of seating anyways. That said, the photographer, I believe, missed the table full of Brandeis types for the table shots he was doing (aka the "classic spontaneous Cohen shot", as dubbed by my mother for my father's family's tendency to take such carefully staged table shots at every event where they possibly can). But well, there was dancing, and I think we sort of made sure that there kept being dancing- it got off to a sort of low-energy start, and some of us saw that, decided that we were going to dance, Now, and did so with enough energy that it went on for a pretty decent amount of time. All the practice I've gotten from being asked to encourage dancing and be out there with energy at some bnei mitzvah at home that I've been invited to, seems to have paid off in technique at least. The whole wedding felt very short- the ceremony maybe because there was less translation, and it was a traditional, not egal ceremony of course, which shortens things. The oddest occurance of the wedding was right after Ma'ariv- I got back, and was putting my siddur and kippah away (I finally gave up on finding something that would look ok in an orthodox setting, look properly formal for a wedding, and still provide enough head coverage that I felt comfortable praying- no seems to have been deadly offended), and this girl came up to me, and asked me if I always prayed with a minyan (I said I'm working on it), and told me she'd never seen something like that. I said I was egalitarian- she'd never heard the word. I asked her if she knew anyone who davened (Prayed) at a Conservative shul- she said no. So I briefly explained the concept. But for a young woman (definitely over 15, probably under 18) not to know what egalitarianism is? It was frightening, rather. (She was, by the way, the daughter of the photographer, not family or a friend of either side.)
Dave's here, got in yesterday before dinner.
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I hope you are having fun. I say hi to you both! :)
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Not that this is good, mind you. Just a way to explain it.
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To rephrase with something resembling coherence: Young people who encounter problematic behaviors without any prior information won't avoid them the way the elders might like. This girl's parents would probably be quite upset if she were to go egal, but then, they never did anything to stop it.
Am I making any sense here? I've been breathing paradichlorobenzene for a few hours, and I'm not sure what that does to my comprehensibility.
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(The back of the box could be summed up as follows: "Just pretend you've come across a caché of sarin gas and are deploying it in your home — your own home, you lunatic — and you'll have some idea of how best to handle these seemingly innocuous little pellets. Oh, and keep out of reach of pets.")
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Re: Don't kill me!
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The question you were asked raises a subtle point -- I have discovered that many Orthodox people incorrectly believe that men are obligated to daven with a minyan; her question indicates that she believes davening with a minyan to be a male practice, but not necessarily davening in and of itself. The question she really should be asking is if you daven ma'ariv regularly, since most people who hold that women are obligated to some level of t'fillah rule that shaharit and minha are required. but not ma'ariv.
Being a closet egal Jew right now, it is amazing at how sheltered some people are -- even "liberal Orthodox" people. I'll be sitting at meals and I get to listen to how women don't understand the hiyyuv of t'fillin and what an absolute pain it is, yet it doesn't occur to the speaker that there are observant women who lay t'fillin.
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We're not?
Being a closet egal Jew right now, it is amazing at how sheltered some people are -- even "liberal Orthodox" people. [Insert tefillin issue]
To be fair, part of the reason for that is that very few women actually wear tefillin. Of course, part of it is also that the orthodox community, which makes up about 10% of American Jewry, tends to think of itself as the majority group.
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What I learned about ma'ariv is that when it was instituted the men chose to obligate themselves to it by performing it three times with intent, whereas women did not. Therefore men are now obligated to it and women are not. shirei_shibolim has pointed out this logically sort of falls through on a whole lot of levels, but it was taught with a straight face and seemed to make sense at the time. As it is, it ended up forming the logical foundation for my personal egalitarianism, so...
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