After our first week back to a "real-life" schedule (really, our first shot at it, as since our last "full week", H's school schedule has changed, I've acquired a relatively hours-intensive part-time job, and H has started night seder twice a week- I join him for it once a week), we were not quite feeling like hosting a shabbos meal- so we did something quite unusual for us, and had both meals on our own. It was both lovely- lots of time together, after a very busy week, and a somewhat calmer Friday in preparation- and also left me feeling like that is a lot of time on our own to make conversation through all of. It was worthwhile- but next time, I might try to think of some things to talk about, as well. I love talking to H about pretty much anything and everything- but everyone has quiet moments.

Sunday was also a lot of "just us" time, although a good amount of it was spent on homework, and on phone calls with my family. I feel a bit bad- H's family seems to get less of our phone time, and we're missing talking to them- but they're not as firmly scheduled in, and so things get in the way of the call... This is definitely something to work on. On the other hand, I had a long and lovely conversation with my sister, which was a very nice surprise.

This week promises to be just as busy as last week, if not more so, as it will culminate in a weekend at my parents' place, and the celebration of my grandmother's wedding on Motzei Shabbos. So- we need to fit shabbos preparations and packing (and outfit choices) into the week, along with travel time and the like. Should be good- but should definitely be busy.

And today, I take a 9 year old trick-or-treating, or at least pass out candy for his mother while he goes with a peer in the building- details still TBD. I'm thinking curiously about what approach to Halloween I want to stand behind, and I really don't know. Excuses for costumes and candy come around only so often- but the "not Jewish" aspect is a worry. We'll see what I think tomorrow, I guess.

We spent this last yontif with H's family (2 sisters, 1 brother-in-law, 3 niece/nephews, and a cousin) in the Boston area. I had some anxiety about it beforehand, as Sukkot has never been a family holiday for me in the past- more a "get to know the other people who are actually still in town and not with their families either" holiday. So this was a different sort of experience for me. Also, Sukkot, due to the tendency for crowded sukkahs, weather, exhaustion from the previous 2 holidays, etc, tends to be a higher-stress holiday for me anyways, and I . often do better if I take at least one meal "off" from being with lots of other people- which one can't really do so well when visiting. Despite all of this, it turned out to be a really lovely holiday. So- some anecdotes.

1. We got a phone call from H's older sister while we were on the bus up, saying that they'd just decided to have do their son's upsherin/halakeh that afternoon, and we're invited- sorry it's so last-minute. As we had happened to get to the bus station a few minutes earlier than we planned, we were offered seats on the bus an hour prior to the one we had tickets for, and therefore were going to get to town in time to join them. I'd never been to such an event before, and it was actually quite sweet. The nephew whose haircut it was held up very well, although he seemed quite overwhelmed by the end- first haircut and singing grownups and new kippah and new tzitzit all at once was indeed quite a lot for a kid. But his siblings (both the 5 year old sister who tends to be rather bossy to him, and the 9 month old baby brother, who is, well, a baby) were both very well behaved as well, and it was a very sweet event- if poorly timed in terms of getting ready for yontif.

Therefore afterwards, we spent the hour and a half leading into yontif running around like mad, grocery shopping and helping my other sister-in-law finish important last touches on the sukkah she was going to be using at the house she used to live in (i.e. making sure it wouldn't be blown away by the wind, and providing lighting and well- a decoration, if not decorations plural).

We managed to have 6 out of 7 meals (including seudah shlishit) in the sukkah- we were very lucky in our breaks in the on-and-off rain that went on through the weekend. I was very grateful for the one meal inside, as it was Very wet in the sukkah even if it wasn't Actually raining when we were making kiddush out there, Friday night, and my shoes were wet, and I was generally not wanting to be in the cold. But otherwise, things in the sukkot were quite nice.

The older sister-in-law's sukkah is very sturdy- they have very heavy-duty schach. This is good, as during Seudah Shlishit, a local cat, who had already come to investigate the inside of the sukkah, then climbed up on the second-floor porch, and jumped onto the sukkah roof, and walked around up there for a while before getting off somehow. This was a little anxiety-provoking (for all of us, but especially the kids), but also rather amusing.

Shabbat lunch (hosted by the cousin) was supposed to be in one sukkah (by the Harvard law school, where the cousin studies), but ended up elsewhere- the schach blew off just minutes before we would have started our meal. It was rather dramatic, as the wind blew it up in the air, it floated for a moment, then crashed down. Luckily, the Hillel sukkah had lots of room...

I also got to see several friends, which was lovely. Other blessings of the holiday involved having lots of chances to hold and play with our littlest nephew, who is a total doll (although he has quite the set of lungs when he isn't happy), and hearing his older brother talking up a (rather difficult to understand) storm- he got a bit of late start on talking, but seems to be catching up beautifully, and finding that the silly words to Haydn's Surprise Symphony were very helpful for deciphering the 5 year old niece's music homework from first grade.

If people interested in a swap would be free the Sunday following this one, I'll set up a facebook invite or other such invite, and start getting it planned.

In other words, we finally were able to go get our belongings out of my parents' attic and bring them back to our apartment yesterday. We left just after shabbos, so as to be able to make a start nice and early on Sunday.

This was immediately complicated by the fact that Uhaul mis-scheduled our truck reservation, so that we had to go a number of towns over to pick up the truck, rather than in either of the locations we requested, and we couldn't get the truck until noon. So we spent the morning moving things down from the attic, doing a small amount of sorting, etc. We ended up leaving a number of boxes of my books (novels, etc, rather than school/work/sefarim sorts of books), as we had worries about space (not to mention the couple other boxes that we left by accident (namely the blech, and my few pesakh things), but oh well...)

At 11ish, my (maternal) grandparents came over- it was good to see them- I hadn't seen them since our wedding. A little later, Dad and H went off to get the uhaul, and I stayed and got a chance to talk to my grandma for a bit. I'm very grateful to H for taking care of the vast majority of the truck-related tasks (including the driving, and coordinating where things should go in the truck, when we loaded it). Of course, getting the truck took longer than expected, as- get this- we were scheduled to pick it up at 12, because the last person to use it was scheduled to return it at 11:50. And of course, they were late. What total nonsense.

In any case, they returned with the truck, and we stopped to have lunch before we started moving boxes out and packing them in. This got exciting, as everyone helped- including my mostly-blind, 80-year-old grandfather. He and Mom were a team (i.e. she kept him from walking into anything), and he actually did remarkably well. It was quite a thing to watch- but I really give the rest of my family kudos for facilitating a set-up where he could feel useful and involved in our project. (My grandmother was kind enough to do the lunch dishes, while the rest of us shlepped.)

Once we had everything packed, we got on the road. The trip went quite smoothly, especially considering that we were in a truck (a small truck, but nevertheless).

At our apartment, H brought boxes to the door of our building, and I brought them into our apartment (with the exception of one box that was just too bulky and heavy for me to manage). Now there are many, many boxes all over our apartment. Hopefully today we'll do some serious unpacking and making some sort of order in here.

As soon as we got the boxes in, we went to return the truck. It's a good thing we did- while the place as "24 hour dropoff", there was only 1 space left in that lot (besides a handicapped space) when we got there (around 7, after getting very briefly lost in the Bronx, during which I rather surprisingly briefly manifested some spacial sense). As it was, that space was rather crowded-into by a truck in the next space. H was a real parking champ. Then we took the subway-replacement shuttle back, which dropped us at 207th. Rather than taking the A only a stop or two, at that point, we just walked the rest of the way back, including one accidental detour. But it worked out quite nicely, and I don't think anyone (reasonable) would say that we skimped on our exercise yesterday (first: carrying boxes from attic to ground floor. Second: carrying boxes from sunroom to truck. Third: carrying boxes from truck to apartment. Fourth: walking a bit over a mile, included a few significant uphills, from dropoff point of shuttle to home.) I now see why zodiacmg said that he wishes he hadn't neglected stretching, after moving his things.

But now, after several years, I finally have access to almost all of my things. It's quite novel.

1. Halacha aside, would you ever want to get a tattoo? If yes, of what?

I've never found the idea of tattoos particularly appealing- I think I saw a Mad Magazine sketch with two old people, their wide assortment of tattoos drooping and terribly out of date, too early to find them all that romantic or exotic. The idea doesn't feel like something that respects the body, and I have enough bad habits there as it is. Also, the number of people I've seen with former SOs names tattooed indelibly on their skin just feels more sad than desirable. In any case, I have a hard time with needles. So I imagine that I wouldn't.

2. What's one talent you do not have that you wish you did?
I'd love to be able to make small talk more easily. It would make social interactions in work environments and generally in new environments much easier.


3. What do you find to be the most frustrating aspect of interfaith work?

Thus far, the most frustrating aspect of interfaith work has been that by the time anyone seems to build up enough relationship and trust to deal with the difficult and therefore, eventually actively constructive aspects of our respective religions, the school year has ended, or someone has graduated, or whatever it is that cuts it off short. I think that building even the basic relationships is important, in terms of creating general good will and sympathy for each other, going forward, but I feel like we tend to reach a certain point, and then get cut off.

I'm also frustrated by the fact that there are plenty of Jewish-Christian interfaith experiences set up, but very few for interacting with folks of other religions besides these two, that I've found so far. It's a good start, and I think a limited combination is probably best for learning how to get along outside your own cultural boundaries, but if interfaith work is about building relationships with other communities- there are other religious communities who might make good allies out there... On the other hand, the boundaries are harder to deal with, potentially, so I see why it happens less.

4. How long have you been growing your hair out?

I've been letting my hair grow since I was something like 3. Someone came up to us in the grocery store, and told my mother what a cure little boy she had. I swore I'd never have short hair again. Lately, I've been lazy about getting it cut, and so it hasn't done all that much growing out, but it's a length that I like, which works out well enough. Someday, I'll get into better hair-care habits.

5. What is something (anything) you want to do and have not yet done?
I've been wanting to learn to sew in a more serious way- I can hand-sew enough to mend, and make very basic things, but I'd love to learn to a. use a pattern, and b. use a sewing machine. There's all sorts of interesting things out there that I'd rather make than try to buy, and it just seems like a good thing to be able to do. I have a bit of a thing about competence at hands-on sorts of skills, and I love fabric, and would love to have more freedom to play with it. (I'd love to learn to quilt, also, for about the same reasons. H and I have talked vaguely about someday taking a quilting class together.)

Yesterday, after not ending up helping zodiacmg move his things after all (the timing didn't quite work), my father came in to bring us a car-load of our things, so that we can live in a somewhat more civilized fashion until we go get the whole bunch of it. It was an amazing favor- he drove up, we brought the things in, he had a glass of water and hung out very briefly, and then drove back home.

By that time, we took care of a few things, and it was time to get ready for mbarr and crewgrrl's wedding. We put our things together, and brought them to change there, so as not to get our good clothes dirty in transit. This worked out well, except that I forgot to actually pack up the scarf I was planning to wear, so I was stuck with the one I'd had on, which luckily came close to matching, especially once I added the embellishment that I'd worked out, and actually remembered to bring (a necklace, pinned on like a headband).

We had some issues finding and meeting up with savant1984 in order to travel together- we eventually found each other right before getting on the NJ transit train. Oh well. It added a certain element of anxiety, but that's how I am about coordinating travel in any case.

The wedding itself was lovely- I was quite tense at the beginning, due to the forgotten scarf, and, I think, a current association between "wedding" and "stress" that is leftover from our own wedding. I imagine that it will fade fairly soon- and once I relaxed some, it was a very nice time. I had a great time talking to mollygrue, whom I haven't seen for long enough to talk in ages and ages. The dancing was very good, if overly crowded for quite a while, and I finally remembered my hula hoop for shtick- there wasn't quite enough room, but I managed a trick or two, which felt good- like I could actually contribute something to the thing. (Also, there was a set of mixed dancing at the end, and H and I had quite a good time dancing together, which was an unexpected bonus to the evening. I'm so lucky to have a husband who's willing to dance, not to mention planning on really learning how to do so with more variety.)

Later on, there was some confusion about where people should be during benching. While we sat politely at our own table for most of it, once sheva brachot began, we couldn't hear at all, and our whole table up and went and stood by the front, where the "action" was, and basically turned into the choir. It seemed to help the coordination (or the feeling of coordination) of things, it was fun, and hopefully it was appreciated- or at least not minded dreadfully. Amusingly, one of the photographers started talking to H about Iaido in the midst of it- apparently he practices as well, and saw H doing a little with a foam sword during the shtick. (Sappy newly-wed warning for what follows. At the beginning of the seudah, they handed out foam swords and had us line up to do that arch thing for the couple to come in under. So there was assorted mock-fencing and flourishing and awkward "how do I hold this" as we waited. H had his foam sword neatly held as if he had his hand on it while it was properly tucked into his belt. It was very, very cute.)

Returning, it took us quite a while of waiting for a train, but after that, transportation was easy and problem-free. It was a nice change from last Sunday's transportation, even if it was rather frustrating to wait and wait and wait for a cab back to the station, while watching many other folks drive off in various ways without any sort of words to us.

Today we moved in to our new apartment. We're here. The furniture (and sundry other things, several of them unexpected) that belongs with the apartment is here. Our two suitcases are here. The rest will get here at some point.

The place is filthy. I hadn't realized quite how remarkably dirty it is- especially the kitchen. So, I've been alternately scrubbing and relaxing. A pretty simple scrubbing seems to be making quite a difference, but I think it will take a few scrubbings to get the place actually clean. Also- somehow, without all the things, it has become rather more apparent how sad the furniture is. So, I guess we'll have to devise some ways of disguising it. This may take some creativity.

Our bed arrives sometime in the next 4 hours, unless something goes oddly.

So- a great deal of excitement, and some upcoming hard work.

We spent shabbos with H's cousin, which was really quite lovely- dinner was a bunch of family (that cousin, his sister, and two more cousins, including the one we crashed with last week) and a couple of her friends, lunch was some other folks (and I fell asleep in the midst of it, anyway), and we just had a really nice time.

Last night, we moved to another friend's couch. Next, we'll either move to another couch, or mbarr and crewgrrl's new place, if we can go get our hands on our (or someone's) air mattress, since the reason that they have space for us to stay there right now is that the furniture is still where they are currently living. (It sure seems like a Lot of people are moving, right now.)

Last night, we met again with the guy from whom we'll be subletting, and got things set up a bit more. We'll be able to move in on the 17th. It will be Very nice to have a stable location for a while...

I have my first bug bites of the season (delightfully late into it- it's a wonderful thing). But it got me thinking- bug bites bother me a lot less now, than they did when I was a kid. They don't swell as much, they don't stay as swollen, and they definitely itch for less time. I wonder what changed. But I don't wonder Too much- I'm just grateful for it.

We've arrived in NYC, staying with some friends, after a fairly reasonable day of travel (nothing was late, we made our connection, although it was pretty tight). Tomorrow, we start apartment hunting. Wish me luck!