Self, in its layers

Dancing tonight was pretty fun- a little on the dull side, but nice. I got to see Karen, my former dance teacher from home, who was in the area for work, and had a few nice talks. But once again I felt like something of a yes-man. I wish I could maintain my own opinions in front of other people better... It's not so easy, somehow, and I don't like that. Not one of my stronger qualities. Grr.

When I was napping, I dreamt about turning my alarm off. I really think that means that I need more sleep. Well, I knew that already. And I won't get it tomorrow- I've got minyan, and reading to finish, and an Arabic test. And that'll probably mean 4 pages of vocab for Friday, along with my Biblical Ritual paper that I'd forgotten about. Argh.

And now for a product of random early morning inspiration of some sort (most likely of very questionable quality):
Dreams and realities twist in my head
One vision, one dream
And all falls into disarray-
I have no faith in visionaries,
Yet my heart is stolen by a vision all my own.
The present has ceased to flow into the future in one neat line,
My arms reach for one,
When my soul speaks out otherwise:
In a city of dragons, I am born on eagles’ wings.
Dreaming a dream of griffins and owls,
The sword sweeps down on the life of a woman
The soul reaches out for what it will-
The hands marvel and try to turn away.
My hopes and my desires do not unite-
Neither path is free for the traveling.
Beholden to try, yet cursed from the beginning-
A cycle of twisted tales begins:
Every step along this path bears fruit
On a tree of knives and shields.

Self, in its layers

Dancing tonight was pretty fun- a little on the dull side, but nice. I got to see Karen, my former dance teacher from home, who was in the area for work, and had a few nice talks. But once again I felt like something of a yes-man. I wish I could maintain my own opinions in front of other people better... It's not so easy, somehow, and I don't like that. Not one of my stronger qualities. Grr.

When I was napping, I dreamt about turning my alarm off. I really think that means that I need more sleep. Well, I knew that already. And I won't get it tomorrow- I've got minyan, and reading to finish, and an Arabic test. And that'll probably mean 4 pages of vocab for Friday, along with my Biblical Ritual paper that I'd forgotten about. Argh.

And now for a product of random early morning inspiration of some sort (most likely of very questionable quality):
Dreams and realities twist in my head
One vision, one dream
And all falls into disarray-
I have no faith in visionaries,
Yet my heart is stolen by a vision all my own.
The present has ceased to flow into the future in one neat line,
My arms reach for one,
When my soul speaks out otherwise:
In a city of dragons, I am born on eagles’ wings.
Dreaming a dream of griffins and owls,
The sword sweeps down on the life of a woman
The soul reaches out for what it will-
The hands marvel and try to turn away.
My hopes and my desires do not unite-
Neither path is free for the traveling.
Beholden to try, yet cursed from the beginning-
A cycle of twisted tales begins:
Every step along this path bears fruit
On a tree of knives and shields.

Weird Judaic Thoughts, not terribly comprehensible

Humor first: So today we learned during the torah reading that all Yisraelim are named Phil (aka both Phils were at minyan, and got the 2 Yisraeli Aliyot). So- if everyone is named Steve, and all Yisraelim are Phil- does that make them Steve Phil? And that leaves all gentiles, kohanim and levi'im with only one name... HaHA. FOr whatever that's worth.

More seriously, I've been noticing that the bow in Aleinu, especially the was I was taught it (knee bend on Korim, straighten legs and bow from waist on Umishtakhavim, stay bowed and bend knees on umodim) keeps one's head down for a decently significant period of time, so that when I at least stand up, I get a sort of lightheaded rush for the next few words. I wonder how much that was planned into the bows by whichever rabbis put them there. I'm not sure if that sort of manipulation of sensation (which does seem appropriate to the prayer, somehow) is helpful or cheating or both. I mean- if it helps one's awareness of the prayer, that shouldn't be bad. On the other hand, if it is too much of a helping along, then it's jsut physical sensation that you're focusing on, not a spiritual experience. I don't think it's a problem- but I suppose it could be.

Weird Judaic Thoughts, not terribly comprehensible

Humor first: So today we learned during the torah reading that all Yisraelim are named Phil (aka both Phils were at minyan, and got the 2 Yisraeli Aliyot). So- if everyone is named Steve, and all Yisraelim are Phil- does that make them Steve Phil? And that leaves all gentiles, kohanim and levi'im with only one name... HaHA. FOr whatever that's worth.

More seriously, I've been noticing that the bow in Aleinu, especially the was I was taught it (knee bend on Korim, straighten legs and bow from waist on Umishtakhavim, stay bowed and bend knees on umodim) keeps one's head down for a decently significant period of time, so that when I at least stand up, I get a sort of lightheaded rush for the next few words. I wonder how much that was planned into the bows by whichever rabbis put them there. I'm not sure if that sort of manipulation of sensation (which does seem appropriate to the prayer, somehow) is helpful or cheating or both. I mean- if it helps one's awareness of the prayer, that shouldn't be bad. On the other hand, if it is too much of a helping along, then it's jsut physical sensation that you're focusing on, not a spiritual experience. I don't think it's a problem- but I suppose it could be.

Housing and random thought

So yes, I have where to live next year: Village C118. Not what I expected, but it should work. Maybe I'll finally learn to do my dishes rather than putting it off. Maybe. One can hope. Last year I learned to clean regularly. This year I learned to sweep regularly. Maybe next year it'll be dishes. At this rate, I'll make a proper housewife someday. What I mean by that, I don't know.

So I was listening to a song called (in translation) "Autumn", which describes fall as "the summer that disappeared", at least as far as I can tell. "hakayitz shene'elam". And that is indeed the way people seem to think of fall. But- Spring isn't thought of as the winter that disappears... I know, people in general prefer hot to cold. But it's an interesting reflection. ANd I'm avoiding reading Catherine Bell, whose writing is entirely incomprehensible.

Housing and random thought

So yes, I have where to live next year: Village C118. Not what I expected, but it should work. Maybe I'll finally learn to do my dishes rather than putting it off. Maybe. One can hope. Last year I learned to clean regularly. This year I learned to sweep regularly. Maybe next year it'll be dishes. At this rate, I'll make a proper housewife someday. What I mean by that, I don't know.

So I was listening to a song called (in translation) "Autumn", which describes fall as "the summer that disappeared", at least as far as I can tell. "hakayitz shene'elam". And that is indeed the way people seem to think of fall. But- Spring isn't thought of as the winter that disappears... I know, people in general prefer hot to cold. But it's an interesting reflection. ANd I'm avoiding reading Catherine Bell, whose writing is entirely incomprehensible.