Observations of the Last While

1. Papers are horridly intimidating until they are started, then they turn into happy little paper-critters. Ones that need lots of quotes (and finding said quotes) take surprisingly longer than the rest.

2. I study much better when other people are there and studying too. Or even if they're there and sleeping.

3. The back windshield of my car keeps icing over- From the Inside. None of my other windows do this. I'm not sure what to do about it, besides scrape the ice off with my scraper every time I want to go somewhere after dark (during the day, it melts). Hopefully Dad will know what to do about this. Any suggestions?

4. I haven't been in a terribly writing-interested mood lately. I'm not sure why. But I've just been lazy. Finals while working on graduate school applications and theoretically preparing for teh GREs is a Bad time for that. Regardless, I think I did alright on my exam this morning (Biblical Hebrew).

5. I need to take out the trash from my room, but the ice in the back of my building (on the stair to the back door, between cars, and along the walkway in back) is a real disincentive to do so after dark. Or at all, but especially at night. I fell last week already, that's plenty for me. My landlady really ought to have a light installed back there, and maybe shovel as well. I do believe that that is her responsibility...

6. Today was my last day of work before break. I'm really getting fond of the kids, but having a couple of weeks off will be nice as well. It is funny how even the ones who don't like me are nice when I'm going to listen to them read so they can get checked off for some prayer or another. And they really are making good progress for 5th grade (they're doing as much as my 7th graders did at CMI [the shul I went to/taught at in high school], it's just that some really get it, and some are really having to push and struggle some.

7. I just finished a draft of a paper, and I'm really not entirely thrilled with it. I'll fix it up in the morning and then turn it in. Must by printer paper on the way home from minyan.

8. Really there must be something interesting going on in my head right now, or at least in my life, but it isn't finding itself interested in reporting itself. Oh well.

Observations of the Last While

1. Papers are horridly intimidating until they are started, then they turn into happy little paper-critters. Ones that need lots of quotes (and finding said quotes) take surprisingly longer than the rest.

2. I study much better when other people are there and studying too. Or even if they're there and sleeping.

3. The back windshield of my car keeps icing over- From the Inside. None of my other windows do this. I'm not sure what to do about it, besides scrape the ice off with my scraper every time I want to go somewhere after dark (during the day, it melts). Hopefully Dad will know what to do about this. Any suggestions?

4. I haven't been in a terribly writing-interested mood lately. I'm not sure why. But I've just been lazy. Finals while working on graduate school applications and theoretically preparing for teh GREs is a Bad time for that. Regardless, I think I did alright on my exam this morning (Biblical Hebrew).

5. I need to take out the trash from my room, but the ice in the back of my building (on the stair to the back door, between cars, and along the walkway in back) is a real disincentive to do so after dark. Or at all, but especially at night. I fell last week already, that's plenty for me. My landlady really ought to have a light installed back there, and maybe shovel as well. I do believe that that is her responsibility...

6. Today was my last day of work before break. I'm really getting fond of the kids, but having a couple of weeks off will be nice as well. It is funny how even the ones who don't like me are nice when I'm going to listen to them read so they can get checked off for some prayer or another. And they really are making good progress for 5th grade (they're doing as much as my 7th graders did at CMI [the shul I went to/taught at in high school], it's just that some really get it, and some are really having to push and struggle some.

7. I just finished a draft of a paper, and I'm really not entirely thrilled with it. I'll fix it up in the morning and then turn it in. Must by printer paper on the way home from minyan.

8. Really there must be something interesting going on in my head right now, or at least in my life, but it isn't finding itself interested in reporting itself. Oh well.

Missing Out?

I just read a post about Baalei Tshuva, Converts and the "COnverstion Experience" or the like. I know a number of people who have this moment where they decide "I want to do this religion thing all the way", or "This, in precisely this fashion, is Right". It's something I'm rather jealous of. It seems to be decidedly socially approved of in religious circles (although it's likely to get one looked at as a wacko in the secular world), and other people get all big-eyed about it. I mean, yes, I'm sure it must be a beautiful spiritual experience. But it leaves those of us who do a lot of struggling with where we are religiously and what exactly our duties and boundaries are, out in the cold. What's the role of someone who still isn't exactly sure about such things in a world where sudden flashes of momentary realization are the ideal? People complain that spirituality is harder for those who have no non-religious past to change from. That's something I can't speak to one way or the other. But when BTs are expected to have had some almost magical flash of decision, and That is what they are good for, in some way, it puts those of us who just keep walking and right now we're here but we're not sure if this is the end or a rest-break in a weird place. And well, it seems like some sort of catharsis that I'm missing that I'm supposed to have had.

Missing Out?

I just read a post about Baalei Tshuva, Converts and the "COnverstion Experience" or the like. I know a number of people who have this moment where they decide "I want to do this religion thing all the way", or "This, in precisely this fashion, is Right". It's something I'm rather jealous of. It seems to be decidedly socially approved of in religious circles (although it's likely to get one looked at as a wacko in the secular world), and other people get all big-eyed about it. I mean, yes, I'm sure it must be a beautiful spiritual experience. But it leaves those of us who do a lot of struggling with where we are religiously and what exactly our duties and boundaries are, out in the cold. What's the role of someone who still isn't exactly sure about such things in a world where sudden flashes of momentary realization are the ideal? People complain that spirituality is harder for those who have no non-religious past to change from. That's something I can't speak to one way or the other. But when BTs are expected to have had some almost magical flash of decision, and That is what they are good for, in some way, it puts those of us who just keep walking and right now we're here but we're not sure if this is the end or a rest-break in a weird place. And well, it seems like some sort of catharsis that I'm missing that I'm supposed to have had.