A Day For Me, and Some Other Minor Kvetching

[debka_notion]

I took a serious day for myself today. I did very little during most of the day- I spent a chunk of time napping without having to worry too much about where I needed to be right afterwards, and just hanging around. I should have done homework, but I just seriously needed some time just to be. It worked out well- I went to minyan, had a surprise breakfast visit, spent the day relaxing, and then went to a talk about Judaism in the Czech Republic and then to dancing this evening, where I think I spent nearly as much time talking with Steve as dancing.

I'm finding it both interesting and rather frustrating that I can't go to dancing and just dance and hang out anymore. Someone always has to pull the "oh, she's a rabbinical student" card, and I get questions. And I'm happy to have those conversations, but I wish I could have them without the professional hat on. I know, this is going to be my life. And some of it is that this is still a new dance community for me, and will be for a while. Once people get to know me, a bunch of the questions get answered, and don't have to be asked again. Also, then I'm a person, and not just a role, so they can just chat comfortably, hopefully. We'll see how this theory works out. But what used to be a social outlet is now only partially that. But when I have to have this very artificial conversation about how person x whom I've never met was such a great hebrew school principal, just because she was also a rabbinical student and wore a kippah, well- it's frustrating. So was the conversation last night from someone who saw me the one time I was at KOE and wanted to know why I hadn't gone back since, after he had already spoken disparagingly of the same d'var torah that folks had praised at lunch on Shabbos, and then needed me to explain that halakha isn't a monolithic thing- that there is often more than one acceptable halakhic opinion on any issue depending on origin, time period, circumstances, approach, etc, and all that visible within Orthodoxy alone... I know, that's exactly the sort of education I want to put out there. But to be almost chastized for not showing up somewhere to daven by someone who has no idea why I would or wouldn't chose to go there regularly felt unpleasant.

Comments

[wildblueyonder2.livejournal.com]

I'm a little unclear about what you mean by "both hard to explain and probably sounds as interesting as I find them rather than as interesting as the rest of the world seems to find them." Do you mean that most people you meet find them fascinating generally? Or that they are generally bored to tears? If the latter, it's easier to dispose of the conversation. If the former, perhaps you need to come up with some multi-syllable latin translation of it when you want to avoid the conversation.

(Full disclosure: I actually find what you're talking about fascinating on one level since at one point in my life I was considering grad school in those general areas. Therefore, if I seem overly interested, it's just because you took a path which I long ago gave up. I must say, however, that it is so much easier to avoid a conversation about my work by explaining it as "legal analysis of the obviousness and anticipation of a particular molecular structure" and watching somebody's eyes roll into the back of their head than what you're describing. If I'm actually in the mood to talk about my academic/professional interests, I can pick a more interesting topic like "national security and privacy.")

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

I mean that my fields of interest involve a bunch of those hot topic type issues that people always want to talk about- gender and halakha is one of those things where Everyone even marginally involved in the halakhic system seems to have something to say about. The problem is that a lot of those people who have something to say don't actually understand anything about what they're saying, and then I can't just sit and listen to them when what they're saying is simplistic and often sort of insulting to Judaism. And I'm happy that people are interested. I just get frustrated when I go somewhere to relax, and when I get involved in a conversation about my field, I have to suddenly try and catch someone up on all the background information and deal with a whole series of assumptions that aren't functional or correct. I don't mind doing that as a teacher, or just as a student of these things when I'm at school, or even at related events or whatnot. But at dancing, if I'm going to have those conversations, I'd like to have them at least on a level where I can express my opinions without having to explain things that feel obvious to me at this point, and correct weird assumptions.