Well, Larry Niven spends a good bit of time talking about rishathra, his word for the subject; he's even written a couple of good essays on the subject. But it certainly doesn't come up in even the majority of his stories. Heinlein talks about sex all the time, but it's usually just between humans. Moving to TV, Star Trek involves a lot of inter-species affairs, but since the species in question are all humans with lumpy foreheads and/or ears, it doesn't really count, and the species differences usually aren't brought up as important, anyway -- it's just sex (it only seems to matter when there are kids, who end up being half or quarter whatever; or when it's Data, who makes a point of mentioning that he's fully functional). Same thing with Hitchhiker's, pretty much. And then there's hentai, but since that's basically porn, it's a special case. So I suppose that I can't really think of that many examples, myself. There are others, certainly, but I feel like it's not terribly common, and it's less common that they actually discuss the implications or mechanics, rather than it just being a sex scene.
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